Trust

Last night I watched the Brene Brown TED talks again.
What you said about walking into a crowd and having them like you, even at your most vulnerable stage, reminded me of her second video relating the stories of the aftermath of her first talk.
She said that in many ways her life ended...
she realized that she was working hard to stay just under the radar to keep herself and her work small.

The universe has a way of altering our course in powerful ways without our realizing it. That is what will happen in my/our life. When we are ready (deemed by the universe) we will animate this dream into a reality. It's not about our time, state of being, or anything we do. We just have to open enough to walk the "road less traveled" and trust our instincts and intuition.

It's funny, I teach college students who inspire me.
3 short years ago, during my first semester, they terrified me.
I really wanted to send a quick email to the head of the Bio department saying that this was just not for me...I was not prepared to deal with the challenges.
But, being the stubborn person that I am, I persevered. I assumed that if they didn't have me they wouldn't have a course, so I was better than nothing.
Over the semesters that followed I have found a comfortable style and have been able to really get to know the students and let them know me. I interject my life views where it is appropriate, and respect theirs as they share them.
Anyway, I guess the point is that the universe knew I was ready to move back into a professional role and provided the avenue.
It happened by synchronicity at its best.
I had daughter#1 in the registrar's office dual enrolling at PSU as a senior. While I was there a friend came in and remarked to the registrar that I was an MD. The registrar asked me, point blank if I would consider covering a sabbatical in the bio dept. I asked her to contact me, that I would consider it and the rest is history.

I have no idea what I am going to do with my MSW next year when I graduate. But I trust that the way will open as I am ready to make those steps.

I trusted intuition in disclosing my/our past...It was a very clear message during Meeting one day...it's been a challenge, but the results are incredibly freeing for my soul and psyche. I have to trust to continue the walk/swim through all of this.

Last night I had such a different reaction to the powerpoint slide of the swamp from Brene Brown's talk. The first time I watched it the swamp was dark and murky. Last night I noticed the reflections of the trees on the water...reflecting all of it back on itself. There was an energy to it this time. It wasn't just a black hole.
Maybe that's one of the benefits of entering the swamp (or water)...
that our experiences can be reflected back to us, at a time that we are slowed down by walking through water, fully aware of the danger and the beauty that surrounds...
fully present...
fully open...
fully alive.
But in all of that there is a trust that we are where we are supposed to be at that very moment.
Trust is the key...
and trust is so hard for me.

Love and Blessings,
Maggie