Sentience?

It's a gorgeous sunny day, and I just stepped outside to check on the dog and bring her back in the house and to get the mail.  As I started to walk up the driveway, a shadow passed over me.  I looked up and it was a turkey vulture flying over me, of course.  Then another came, seemingly from nowhere and swooped close to the first one I noticed.  The two started swooping together, and then there was another and another.  By that time I was at the road, so I went across the street and sat down in the grass, facing the vultures.  One by one they disappeared.  But they left me with a thought.  The words golden purifier went through my mind, and I suddenly wondered if they could purify the black parts inside of me.  That was the Aha! moment.  The swamp is not only something I am working my way through, it is also inside of me...it's part of me.  That might be why I can't tell where the water and air meet in the photo.  I can't tell what's in me, I can't tell what's not me - or not in me.

Fat-dumb-and-ugly got planted in me, but they are not mine.  I never would have put those words in myself or anyone else.  But they became part of my self-definition.  (Don't worry, though - Faduly is still learning to cavort and no longer trapped and trying to use debasement as an escape mechanism...or to gain love and acceptance from the one who birthed the words.)  I couldn't tell what was me and what was not...The swamp is within...

Next I wondered if this was mysticism...discerning the messages of the turkey vulture.  But I thought,  "No, that's just acknowledging the sentience and connection of all."

A few of the wedding pictures have gone up on Facebook...virtually the next best thing to being there!