Poverty of the Soul

I did actually think of the middle ground, after it was written and I was rereading my last post.  You caught the point quickly.  We do tend to dramatize in the moment, then minimize after the drama no longer fills our need to be comfortable.  We/I simply don't know there is that vast expanse of middle ground to work in, to interact in, to love each other in.  We just keep our distance between dramas to hide our shame.  I have had the very coherent thought that - if you know who I really was, you would not accept me.  So, if you don;t need me, I think I will just hide in my little corner.

I had a moment in meeting for worship today.  I was thinking about poverty, then thinking about the balance of what we have versus what we need/don't need..  I was wondering which of my possessions adversely affects others. Considering my lifestyle, I was led to thinking of my isolation as poverty of the soul.  It seemed poignant.  I wondered how much my poverty of the soul caused the poverty of my heart, then the poverty of my day-to-day life. 

What I defined for myself, years ago, though, was that taking a vow of poverty truly meant having the faith to live without.  We don't need to possess, we just have to trust that what we need will come to us.  That seems harder and harder, though.  Logically, I believe it.  I think this is what priests and nuns originally meant when they took vows of poverty.  Now, we don't see poverty as being linked to faith.  We see it as an embarrassment, we are not good enough, we are not worthy, we are not smart enough to cope with life.

I am struggling to open my heart, and live on faith.  I am okay for a little while, then I curl back up like an oppossum or an armadillo.  Maybe more like the oppossum - I play dead.

The rainbow run sounds like fun.  I am looking forward to photos.  I spent the day at a living history museum with my granddaughter.  As we walked the streets we progressed from 1809 to 1873.  I am definitely an 1809 kind of girl.  That primitive one room log cabin spoke to me!

Love you, looking forward to more!!



And I have worked with a hypnotist.  We mostly looked at past-lives rather than early this-life, although I did identify the Delana Slime while in that state.  Went to a spiritualists village and both grandmothers had messages for me.  That is different when it comes from outside of yourself.  You can chew on it differently than if it comes from a painful part within.