All together now...ME TOO!

I have often struggled with why we suffer in silence...
because it's polite?
because, obviously no one else is speaking up...
that means either I am the only one suffering or they are just as plastic to the outside world as I am.

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages....from Shakespeare's As You Like It

I sometimes feel deficient because people slip into and then out of my life. I feel that if I was a better person, more intelligent, more compassionate, funnier, etc. that they would stay and be my lifelong friend. I have had some amazing friends in my 50 years...and some pop in and then back out after long intervals...but mostly we move on.
I am grateful for their love, support and the lessons that they taught me. But when I think about them I feel as if I have lost them.
The quote above tells me that this is the natural cycle of life.
People make their entrances and exits as it should be. To cling would stop growth.

I think that's what is so devastating about child abuse...or any abuse. The survivor remains stuck in that traumatic place and circumstance.
To the outside world it is a "buck up, buttercup"moment...and we do obediently get on with our lives superficially...
but part of our soul remains behind in that pain...
until we reclaim it with love, patience, understanding and compassion...
but not in isolation.
That's what breaks the shame, the silence and the self judgement...
when others reach out to us and say,
me too.
But it takes so much courage , energy, and fortitude to speak the truth out loud.
There are so many survivors of childhood sexual abuse...too many...1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys...we should be screaming...we should be making our stories heard en mass...but we keep the secret in shame or quietly tell the story to one or two people, who are hopefully empathetic enough to sit with us and listen. And some will quietly say...
me too...
ME TOO!!!
ME TOOOOO!!
MEEEEEEEE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
it should be the start of a new group...like MADD
What incredible power would be found in those numbers...to channel all of the energy that is being presently used to repress and silence the memories into a positive direction...what a force...
"may the force be with you" (sorry it just popped into my head)
maybe this is my future...
maybe I will organize a movement...
the ME TOO movement to raise awareness and save some children from a lifetime of shame, self harming coping mechanisms and early death from disease that we were destined to the first time we were groped, raped, beaten, humiliated.
What else can I do? I can't silence it again. That would be certain death for me.
Am I crazy?

Maggie