I had forgotten about the incident walking to the store until you said - near abduction. Your questions are taking me back to that house we lived in...Mom called the police, and a detective came and talked to me and B#4. If I was 8 or 9, he had to be 4 or 5. I remember he was making up answers when asked questions...maybe he didn't know all his colors yet or something. Later, the police called and said they had someone and wanted us to come down and identify him. Mom told me, to prepare me I suppose. But that was the day Uncle B's family was coming to visit, and so we were too busy. I remember asking if we were going and Mom said there wasn't time. So who knows what happened...
I remember talking to my ex one time, discussing a construction worker had just fallen from a high place while working. I asked if he survived. No. I commented that if it were me, I would have left my body before I hit the ground. My ex looked at me strangely, and said the guy had had a heart attack while falling and was dead before he hit. And I responded, "See?" We do abandon ship in times of great danger. We learn to fly away, then come back when it's safe, hopefully. I read one other thing that has haunted me. A man who was being killed by lions was rescued as the last moment. He said that he felt ecstasy at the impending release. But that is at the death point. I think when we know we are going to survive, there is only pain and panic.
All of the trees intrigued and delighted me. I wasn't looking for them or expecting them, but they were growing in the most unexpected places. Thanks for reminding me that they get to be dormant, to rest and recharge. But then spring comes again.
I love your joy-filled description of life at your house today. I hope it fills your heart with laughter. It is quiet here, now. I had my grandson last night which is always a treat. He knows his way around my house, and gets into things just like at home! I put him in a stroller and walked the little over 2 miles to the village baseball filed. His papa and uncle are part of a town softball league. Part way through the walk he announced, "Walk." Then he stood in front of a house and said, "Mine?" for almost 5 minutes, until I picked him up to put him back in the stroller. He wanted to walk, though, which I don't mind as long as we actually walk!
I have been thinking about defining ourselves by pain. Our conversations have really opened my eyes or my mind. A friend, who was raised in a very dysfunctional family, confided that their partner was cheating. I suddenly realized that when we define ourselves by our pain, sometimes we punish ourselves by isolating ourselves from our partners. Instead of letting our partners be close to us, to comfort us, we push them away. Then we are so consumed by our pain that we don't realize we are causing pain. Our partners reaching out for another is a serious wake-up call. I was very grateful to you when my friend reached out for me. Because of what we've done, I was able to respond lovingly and to be present with the pain.
Talked to Mom. She asked if I was going to the upcoming wedding. I told her that I got an invitation, but only my name was on it. If my mother-in-law was still here, she would assure me that only the names on the envelope are invited. So I didn't even bother to mention it to my kids, so no one is planning to go. She said I could bring anyone I wanted, but I don't think that's true. Am I being a spiteful brat? I didn't feel spiteful when I sent the RSVP back. When I got the invitation I just thought it was interesting and sent regrets. Then Mom said she hoped we would be able to make it to her birthday party next summer. I looked up the B&B that's being booked and noted the room rates. No way can I afford that. So, maybe we'll camp nearby, or maybe we'll skip it. Again, am I being a spiteful brat?
Gonna water my vegetables...enjoy your beautiful family!! Love to you all.
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