Your last post appealed to me. I am a knitter and spinner, and I love the meditative quality of each of the arts. When I spin, I watch a splay of fibers become a neatly twisted string. Then I ply the strings into a strong yarn. All of those different strands become one and flow through my fingers. Then I take my yarns and make hats or mittens, or lately - baby booties. I love the process of choosing and blending colors, of laying one color over another. I read your description of a blanket, and had the vision of a blanket - strong and soft - supporting us above the swamp, hanging like a hammock from something above. It has always tickled me that spinning yarns has two meanings. For, here, together, we are spinning our yarns.
Your description of the blanket also inspired me to look at tartan patterns. We are allowed to wear the Bruce tartan, because of our ancestry. But here are several tartans for different branches of the family, and I don't really know which we are. But I thought about the colors and hues we bring to our family blanket. I thought about how much we each add to or withhold from the piece. Maybe by withholding, we only cast a shadow and muddy the patterns. There are so many of us, the pattern would have to be intricate. Yet we are so separate, I think we might just be holding our quilt square, wondering if it even fits with the family quilt any more...Yeah, I know, I switched symbols in mid-stream. Not sure if we are quilted or woven, I guess!
I talked to an old friend for a few hours today. We reckoned that we have been part of each other's lives for about 22 years. She is back in school following a passion for nutrition. She counsels people, and used the word rebirth to describe what she does. I mentioned the birthing process involved in climbing out of the swamp. She rethought her language and said she's actually working with a youthening process. She wants to flood cells with minerals and vitamins to restore vitality and bring back the health associated with youth. Of course my brain went into overdrive looking for ways to share the image. The best I could do was wonder if we are shining light on all the dark places - Light being a spiritual nutrient. And enlivening ourselves. We are rebirthing from the coma our life has been, and being born for the first time...truly alive, truly in the Light.
I read something briefly today, I can't remember where, but it talked about removing your clothes and standing naked. The idea was not to try to cover yourself as soon as possible, but remain vulnerable and visible. Psychologically, that is what I am trying to do, here...I think. At least I think I am...
I had an interesting day. While I was working, my neighbors brought me a bucket of fresh picked pickling cucumbers and a few super-zucchinis. So I made garlic dill pickles and I grated a lot of zucchini. I grate it, then press it into a one cup measure. I put the molded form on a cookie sheet and freeze it, then store the premeasured blocks in a ziploc bag. I can grab one cup of zucchini all winter long. I like to have it for zucchini bread, a favorite with soups in the winter, or to throw into a pasta sauce to up our veggie intake. After that I rubbed the seeds loose from dried kale seed pods and put seeds away for next year. This work makes me feel so content. I love experimenting with preserving foods right from the garden. I love the feeling of being self-sufficient and of knowing where my food came from. It's nice to remember what makes me feel - content. Content is really the best word. I feel like singing softly while I work.
I hope you are yours will have a safe trip home. I may post tomorrow, but I am working in the morning and will have grandbabies in the afternoon and overnight
Back in May you offered to help me, so that I could get out to visit my son and his wife. I did not have the freedom to go then. I have been working most weekends, trying to get ahead, so I can go now. I have my bills paid through and will be able to pay rent, but I don't have a bus ticket yet. And yes, I have decided to take a bus. So I am going to ask for your help. I am asking here publicly, and feeling some shame and a lot of vulnerability.
I was awake fretting about money last night when I suddenly thought - my life is so stupid. This financial stress all the time is so stupid!!!! But that is my issue, and I still have time to figure it out!
Love from Clare
Yeah - a tornado touched down just south of us, along the state line. Our electric was out for a few hours. I read and slept.
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