Sorry, I have spent the past two days in a "zone", compiling my literature search into a semi-coherent review that justifies my study...can childhood abuse cause food allergies...
I was talking with an old Quaker Friend this morning after Meeting about it and he asked me if it was a form of distraction?
I had to admit it was.
I am once again intellectualizing my experiences to allow me to dance around them instead of diving into them.
Once again I am not skinny dipping in the swamp, just dipping my toes.
I did spend an hour with ThunderBay yesterday morning...that was a true pleasure.
What have I found?
I have found that all of our family's various responses to the CPTSD, chronic, unpredictable overwhelming stress are expected.
It is our nervous and endocrine systems' way of coping. It all makes perfect sense. The problem is that the chronic stimulation that results can kill you in one of many ways...
The good news is that stress reduction, exercise and omega 3 fatty acids can help...sorry I find that part extremely funny...it's all so complicated and devastating, but here is a simple fix. I refused to note that in my review.
One interesting point that I latched on to was that consistent nurturing in the early infancy stage can result in more positive outcomes... a good, caring, attentive mother makes a huge difference.
I feel your words are powerful. Love between equals is a goal worth striving towards. I have, at times, found myself too powerful for some men...they either run away scared or turn into my children. I would like to see a relationship of equals. I believe that men are drawn to powerful women, but then once they 'have' her they try to tear her self esteem down, little by little...so that no one else can threaten what's theirs. I have watched beautiful, confident women lose their vision of themselves and their goals at the hand of an insecure man. How do we raise our sons to be different?
I talk and reflect respect to them and they still treat each other poorly. I speak out against prejudice and bigotry, and they still repeat popular songs full of derogatory phrases. I hope that it is getting through...I feel as if it will come together, at sometime in the future.
It is late and I am all typed out...I will sit down to this in the morning after I have rested.
Thanks for the kind words about me, it means alot to know that you love me...as I do you.
-Maggie
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