Friday, May 4, 2012

still hiding

"We begin to feel that only we are real. That makes everyone/everything else an object. If we identify someone as evil, we can push them further out, disconnect them."

This passage takes my breath away. This explains my relationship issues so well. I am a very compassionate person, but at the most intimate levels lack empathy. I find reasons to push people away when they get too close or when I perceive that they are rejecting me. I create chaos to avoid working on intimacy, trust, interdependence, love.

The scientist in me wants to understand the neurophysiologic changes that occur when a person is abused. The counselor in me wants to understand how to help people move beyond the abuse and live well. But all of this is truely a smoke-screen for me to avoid having to look at my own abuse and deal with it on the most imtimate level...with myself. I need to find the little girl who is still waiting to be noticed and give her life, and a voice.

Maggie

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