intriguing

Clare,

I wish it were as simple as stepping out of the shadows into Light.
I guess it is simple...
a simple paradigm shift from evil to good...
Who defines evil?
Who defines good?
Simple...but never easy.

We are in an age of 'Star Wars' type personalities...
egos battling...
good versus evil....
Light versus darkness.
It's hard to watch playing out in real life.

I watched a Caroline Myss TED talk today about choices....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KysuBl2m_w
It was intriguing.
I shared it with my young man...
I hope he watches it through.

I have given him numerous books to read...
amazing books...
and he never "gets around to them".
He called this week...
frustrated with his present foster family...
they don't like him...
they treat him worse than the others...
they won't just let him sit in his room, alone for hours...
they are questioning his isolation...

he wants to belong and be loved...
from a distance.
He is uncomfortable with close, consistent relationship.
He seems to need to have something to focus negative emotions on.

I asked him to work on reflecting upon his own thoughts and feelings and then communicating that to his foster parents.
I feel so badly for him. He has so much potential, but he will never realize it until he stops running and hiding.

My youngest had a full out melt down yesterday as he was leaving for school. It took me an hour to calm him down and figure out what was going on. He is worried about the future...anxiety at its best. He is worried about 10 years from now...
will he be rich, successful, happy?
he explained that he has only ever had glimpses of happiness.
I told him that we all have peaks and valleys...
if you stay on top of the peak it becomes mundane.
You have to go into the valley to appreciate the peaks.
we had a really good conversation...
He didn't go to school, but he calmed down.

I had my boobie MRI yesterday...
no results yet...
but my low back is hurting.
I had to lie still on my belly...
boobs hanging through 2 cut outs in the table...
for 1.5 hours.
It was a good exercise in mindful relaxation.
I am nervous about hearing the results...
I hope by the end of next week I know what it shows.
Whatever it shows I deal with...
it's that simple.
That's all that we can ever do...adapt and move forward.

I hope you are having a good Earth Day...
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie