2 tsp...

Clare,

The procedure was not painful...
yet not totally comfortable either...
The surgeon extracted fat from the area below my navel...
and then used that to fill in the flat/indented areas. We agreed that there were 2 areas that needed it...
nothing too extensive.
all in all about 10 cc of fat was placed...
I think more was extracted...
but not much.
I am bruised below the belly button...
and sore, but not like I'd anticipated.
The boob area feels full...
kind of like a blind pimple...
pressure but no pain unless you try to squeeze it.
I've been instructed not to put pressure on it or the fat may resorb or mold into another funky formation...
so I wait...
ice on my belly...
not even a cam on the top.
it's interesting.
So, no bigger and they're still immobile.

I was stressed last evening. I want to ride in a analyze the situation...
make sense of their nonsensical, incomplete reports...
I'm sure that those at the hospital are stressed and not fully comprehending...
but last night was confusing from a medical standpoint.
Stroke...
but no CT of the head until hours later...
after the hip.
The hip has been hurting since a week or two before Christmas...
remember he didn't get out of bed on Christmas because of it.
I had asked Mama to have it evaluated, but she didn't want to be aggressive...
because he doesn't want to do anything anyway.
Comfort is possible.

I spoke with Mama today. I offered to come and pass time with her/them, to hold space while they sit in the hospital. She asked me to wait until he is discharged. I may still travel on Sunday for a few hours. Mama cried when I told her she could call us or some of the closer siblings to hold space and time with her...
she is strong...
but not tapping into that place...
She seems like a small girl at this point.

Do not be surprised if the infected fluid that they extract from the hip joint doesn't have caner cells floating around it. This may be a metastatic lesion that bled and then got infected.

The dream insight is fascinating...
shaman if we dream...
I like that.

The male attention coming your way may signify that you are open to the comments...
not looking for them...
but many times we ignore what we don't want to hear.
I wonder where this is taking you?

I've had some really good feedback from the Department of Health about my teen parenting classroom to support breastfeeding and attachment. They offered me $15,000 over the next 18 months to create a pilot and run it...then evaluate the efficacy. The best part was that the woman who manages the grants for breastfeeding and I clicked...we talked about horses, breastfeeding, bonding, raising kids, so many ideas that flowed. I felt as if I'd known her for a very long time.
I may be able to make a difference...
I am energized.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie