Rocks

Woveness- I like that.
I do have a sense of being connected…
or interconnected with the beings and the earth.
I like that feeling- it makes me an integral part…
but only as important and vital as all of the rest.

I had a strange occurrence today- I ran across a couple from my Catholic days who I hadn't seen in years. We talked about music and what they are doing at my former parish. Then husband and I went for some ice cream tonight and a man in the shop asked if I still sing- he remembered me from my days at the Catholic church. Maybe I'm supposed to move back into music

This expansion is becoming a pain in the ass- or chest more literally. I've got 320 cc in each expander and their goal is 450cc. This morning, out of curiosity I measured my lumps and I'm at 37 inch bust- bigger than I want to be. Also because the expanders are almost full they are pushing outward into the axillary area which makes it uncomfortable to put my arms flat against my sides or lay on my side to sleep. I'm going to get a better idea of the reasoning for getting me bigger than I ultimately want to be next time I go into the plastics office.

I cannot imagine sleeping on the desert ground with these things…it'll be like rocks on rocks. That's what they feel like- rocks. My skin is numb, they are hard, but hurt when the muscles surrounding them go into spasm. They are also very high- I look as if I am wearing a push-up bra constantly and I haven't put a bra on since my surgery. These things don't move either. I can jump up and down and they just stay put. I am curious what the implants are going to be like. I hope they're a little more natural- although I love the idea of not ever wearing a bra again.

The Quaker farm school you told me about is closed. I met the former headmistress of the school today at Meeting. She is currently the clerk of New England Yearly Meeting. She grew up at Reading Meeting and is visiting my 90 year old friend/Friend.

I have had a difficult day. I am not sure why. We had tickets to see a country band this evening and I couldn't muster the energy to go. We ended up giving the tickets away. I sat with the feelings for a while and I think I'm incredibly afraid to bring my son home. He's doing so well in Az. But, he has to return to the real world at some point. The counselor told us that when they feel that the desert is their home and the world is wilderness it's time to return to the world. I cannot wait to see him and hear his stories. I just don't know if I can go through any more drug and alcohol issues. He wants to be sober. We all want him to be sober. But the temptations will be all around. Please hold him in the Light that he can maintain this lifestyle.

I am off to the southwest tomorrow. I will return on Saturday. I will catch up with you then. I hope that you have a wonderful week. I am very curious what your friend finds in the cards for you. Keep me posted.

Love and Light,
Maggie