Home?

Hi Maggie,

My office seems to be where everyone congregates, and last night we congregated!  I never had a private moment to write.  Today is quieter.

The problem with home being where kids are is that, when you parent right, they grow up and leave you.  They make their own homes.  It struck me years ago that closest, immediate family is one's spouse.  That's who we bond to when we leave our parents, and who we still have when the children are gone. If we are lucky...

I am grateful that four of my kids live nearby, they consider this home.  And the fifth is homesick and wants to come back to our coast of the country.  I am thrilled with the way my local grandchildren behave. Sometimes they are almost like siblings.  When the last baby was born, my grandson went through some of the behaviors of an older sibling when a baby joins the family.  It really touched my heart.

I have been thinking about carrying extra weight.  Carolyn Myss might be partly right, but there's more.  When I talked to my youngest's friends who were overweight, every one of them had been abused - almost all were sexually abused.  And then we tend to be codependent. We'll do anything if you'll just like us.  That's where the caretaker/codependent comes in.  If we were likeable, we would not have been abused.  So we try to be likeable.

The bracelet sounds very meaningful.  What a thoughtful gift...

Next week at this time, I will be with my oldest son.  I miss him all the time, but mostly I keep that feeling tamed. Now that I know I will see him soon, I am allowing myself to feel it. I really miss him so much.

I hope your trip to visit the boarding school is painless and exciting.

Love and hugs,

Clare