Predators and Prey

Clare,

I just finished my paper on the trauma of human trafficking and slavery...
the ending is a paragraph with my thoughts about the human condition in 2012.
I pointed out that we have evolutionarily advanced cerebral cortices enabling us to use language and higher level thinking, despite this we still act as predator and prey.
In the face of the fear of not having enough...
people (prey) place themselves at great risk in the hope of having a better life...
and they are exploited.
Others with more power (predators) strip away their humanity and consider them as commodities to be bought, traded or stolen...a tool to be profitted from.
It is Darwin's survival of the fittest.
(I should edit this commentary out of the paper...but it is an important concept so I will leave it alone).
Why can't we, as a species, care for each other?
Why can't we be satisfied with enough?
Why are we always driven towards the aquisition of more...
more stuff, more beauty, more intelligence, more life, more youth?
At our core, we are just animals...

This morning, I heard in the back of my mind,"if you don't stop that I will send/sell you to China"...
I believe it was an idle threat that was thrown around in our house when I was young.
Now, being aware of what happens to children who are sent/sold to other countries,
the threat means so much more...
what a stupid thing to say to your kids.

I have to look at the effects of sexual abuse and infants and very young. I will get back to you on that.

Your letter to B#1 was courageous. He told you that he remembers nothing. Everything was great. He has rewritten his story.
He responded to my letter that he does remember fondeling me that one night, and is deeply sorry...but he was drunk and high, therefore not responsible for his actions.
(One problem with that is that when drunk and high it is unlikely that a man can have an erection- they are depressants)
When I asked him why, at 15 he turned to drugs and alcohol, he responded that our life was great...but that's what kids did back then.
At first his and the majority of the family's convenient amnesia angered me greatly.
I wanted to make them remember.
I wanted to be validated I guess.
Now that I am learning about the complex human reactions to trauma (CPTSD) I can accept that they really don't remember. But their actions manifest the repression of the years of traumatic, stressful experiences that we lived through. And as we both pointed out in our letters...there will be continued addictions, continued self-harm...probably suicides, continued mental health disease. It is not possible to repress this much garbage and still have the capacity for mental  and physical health.

You are courageous.
You wrote a letter to mom years ago describing your experiences and the response that you received was negative. Dad didn't talk to you for years!
You wrote a heart wrenching letter to B#1 and the response was negative, in effect, "You must be crazy".
But, when I reached out to you in the early spring you still had the courage to say yes...let's go there. That is true courage...thank you.

I love the musing on time and the trees. Time is a man-made construct. Humans had to control and harness this phenomenon and so we named it time. Now our creation controls us...we are slaves to the clock. an interesting idea...

I love you,
Maggie
P.S. I earned the nickname of stink and skunk because I sucked those two fingers constantly...even while I ate. They must have really smelled bad. I remember being determined to stop befoe an anticipated visit from uncle G...I don't know why he was so important to me that I would give up a comfort/coping mechanism.