I know! I watched a video of a returning dad/soldier greeting his kids and I started crying. I never felt that. Ever. Never felt like Dad was especially happy to see me, nor I him.
You asked about fairy tales, and many thoughts came to mind. The sanest - fairly tales explore what we fear most: having no mother, suffering cruel parents, being lost or homeless. We can explore these feelings from a safe, controlled place, and be relieved when the hero prevails in the end over nasty siblings or wild animals. It wasn't meant to be a guidebook or a parenting manual!!! But when we are parented so wrongly we have nothing to draw upon. My parenting philosophy was - Do it different! And I did, with mixed results. My kids struggle and I see the effects of my poor parenting. It's my fault, although I was doing the best I could.
The question is important. Why do some of us manage to come up for air and then learn the breaststroke, while the rest of us flail, or tread water? Or simply drown?
So have you always remembered that moment in the dark when you threatened to scream and stopped the molester? Where did it come from? Or did you remember it later? What triggered the memory? What is your earliest memory? Your earliest memory of abuse?
-C.
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