way opens

Hi Maggie,

Thank you for sharing your impressions and stories from the funeral. Of  course she was more than our annual glimpse, but I never had any idea what it might be.  And when I look back, I remember B#1 expressing disgust at nieces for pretending to be cheerleaders, for playing.  I remember having not so nice thoughts in my mind about his reaction to perceived sexuality of little girls.  I worried, but never knew what to do with my worries.

What I remember about his wife was talking about kids. She was perceptive about her own.  She could analyze them briefly, but get right to the point.

I will have to ask my daughters if SIL ever adjusted their clothes. My youngest said that her aunt basically ignored her, which she assumed was a judgmental reaction because my daughter lives with a man she has not married. Yet. She feels the same comes from her uncle. I am never sure if it is perception, stemming from unfamiliarity, or if she is absolutely correct.

The letter is not from the cousin you are thinking of. She is mentioned in the letter. But I will make a copy when I get out and get in the mail for you...sometime soon.

I think it would be powerful to make that study...to investigate what early violence does to our adult psyche.

After Dad died, I got the hit, the leading, once again, to go to grad school, and follow up on this. To look at the roots of violence, to define violence and violation, to trace the ways we adopt the behaviors inflicted on us. To study how to identify early violations and stop them...But, again, I am saying to the universe, I will not go into debt for this. I will not take student loans.  If I am meant to do this, then way will open.  And, sorry to announce, I do not/will not trust that way will open!!  Once it is opened, I will move forward, though!!  (Just talking to the universe here!!)

I am glad you made it to the funeral. I am glad you made ithome safely.

We had a family birthday dinner for my youngest son.  When my kids are thirty, I give them their baby books.  I only have one left. It is bittersweet.

Love and hugs from Clare