Churning thoughts

I have a friend who has visited Iraq as a member of Peace Teams International.  She carries photos of her two daughters.  When she meets women, and because there is a language barrier, she shows them her daughters.  She invites them to show their children.  That is our connection.  That is the Me, too.  When I reveal that I have children I am sharing a basic truth and a core vulnerability in my existence.  I have children.  I am vested in the safety and health and well-being of this world.

I have been feeling inspired to write by the shocking violence around me.  I block myself by thinking there is no market for what I write.  When did I start judging myself by commercial value?  Something new to consider...

I agree that stories are central and vital.  And the deepest, most blest gift we can give anyone is listening.  By listening to another I am validating their whole existence.  I am saying:  You are worth it!  You are worth my time and attention.  What you have seen and sensed and experiences is valid.

I have not been in a relationship since my marriage ended.  As usual, I take things to extremes.  I don't think I would see it as healthy or successful.  My isolation comes from fear.  It comes from feeling not safe.  It comes from feeling not good enough, not enough.

So how do I break my cycle of fear and isolation?  But I have a query for you...do you feel connected in your relationships?   I suddenly wondered if we create relationships that allow us to maintain a comfortable isolation while looking good from the outside. It was just a thought...

I have been watching the debate about guns.  The people who think if we are all armed we can stop tragedies versus people who think no one should have guns.  No one is looking at the innate violence of our culture.  Something hit me hard  We have about 10,000 murders every year, by firearm.  The next closest is Israel, maybe (working from memory here) with about 78 - according to a Facebook chart.  We spend about $711 billion per year on the military.  Next behind us is China, spending $143 billion.  I think we can recognize someone's values by how they spend their resources.  I think these numbers indicate the underlying violence of our country.  And the numbers really show how we surpass comparable countries.

But we won't look at that.  We'll just continue our superficial arguments about gun control - pretending it's a real issue.  We'll continue our superficial, inane discussions about what defines real rape, and ignore the fact that rape is okay in this country.  If it was not acceptable, we would be stopping rapists, not blaming victims...Instead, we tell women how to protect themselves - we know we are not safe here.

Lots of churning thoughts...

Love

Clare