Teary

Hi Maggie,

This feels like a traditional letter...So, How are you?

I'm not sure how I am.  I had an overwhelming feeling of sadness last night and I just wanted to cry and cry and cry some more.  I don't know what started it.  But it was hard to shake. I still feel closed and tight and almost achey today.

The fact that I am feeling, and recognizing the emotions is good. I just wish I knew what was triggering it, so I could focus specifically on that.  Maybe it is because my youngest is moving out of my home and into a trailer with her boyfriend.  I am excited about having my house to myself, but I am sad that I am no longer anyone's mom.  But...I don't want to be the active mother any more, even though I mourn the passing of this part of my life. 

Just like the cat chasing its tail,  watch Clare chase herself in an emotional circle!

I also think my sadness is coming from our work here.  I hit something/someplace numb.  Maybe it is thawing - which always hurts...a lot.

It is a beautiful autumn day - warmish and breezy.  I think I will walk over to the swamp after I eat lunch and just sit there for awhile.  I think that will knock something loose.  Being in nature usually does for me.  If it does, I will be back.  If it doesn't, I will just spend some more time in tears.

love you,

C.