More vultures

Ever since this summer I have been thinking a lot about vultures.  I read that they are the only being who lives outside of the predator/prey cycle.  That their "duty" is transformation.  I love to watch them on the wing.  I read that they always migrate on the equinox.  I watched for them on that day last month.  But it was stormy, dreary, rainy.  And it has been pretty much dreary and rainy since.  Today was a gorgeous, vivid autumn day.  I decided to walk, to absorb the beauty of the day.  As I was beginning the trek back up the hill, I saw two vultures swirl in the air, dipping and soaring back up on the wind.  I stopped in awe.  And there were more and more.  I counted 14 or 16.  I stopped to watch them.  Then I looked to the north and there were three more.  It filled my heart.  I wondered if this was the beginning of their migration, or if this was a northern clan just making their way through here as they travel to warmer places.

I have a Cherokee friend who told me that when animals do things to attract your attention, they are working with you.  I hope that the vulture is working with me.  I know they were with me as I traveled to Oregon and back.  And they soared over my son's backyard when I was out in the sunshine with my granddaughter.

I thought a lot about surrender as I walked.  I thought about putting down my weapons, and trusting the world.  I am just not quite sure how to do that.  I am so comfortable in hiding that I don't know how to emerge...as I stated that in my mind,  I had a flash of the birthing image - of being born into harsh light.  Perhaps surrendering will be like that...being reborn, and being as vulnerable as an infant. Hopefully I can control the infantile moments!

I also thought about money.  I am afraid to let go and just spend any because I have been trapped without so frequently in my life.  I had the impression that I have a block, a psychic or psychological block about money.  Maybe because I don't see my value, I don't allow myself any rewards or abundance.  I wondered how to open the block and be a conduit of abundance.

Here's hoping I sleep tonight...here's hoping I figure out how to get through or under the swamp.  I will persevere!

Hugs,

C.