Fluttering through

URLs are so far beyond me.  I have no idea who has been here.  If a sibling reads and has anything to add or to question, I just assumed we would hear from them either here or in person.  I think what we are doing is scary.  I think we all feel shame.  The others all went through similar versions of what we went through.  We both know how bad it really was and how hard it is to walk through the muck and not drown again.

Consider that you are being taken seriously, just not by the sibs and just not yet.  Someone has to go first and we have done it, so I say - I respect you, I honor the work you are doing, I am so grateful that you have kept me moving forward through all of this - especially when I felt frightened...you reminded me that I do have family - I have you.

Just a thought - I teach active and passive sentence structure.   Passive is a great way to avoid blaming anyone else.  Active takes responsibility...

And a mystery that demands presence...I really like that.  I have a feeling those words will haunt me for some time.  I am grateful to be present for you and I welcome your presence so much.  I look forward to our exchanges.  You have become a vital part of each day for me...thank you.

I don't remember that Christmas cartoon.  And I don't remember any regrets from walking beyond my comfort zone.  My regrets all stem from playing it safe, not reaching out, not letting people get close, not being daring.  I had one interview, and there will be a second in the next few days.  I feel good about the first one, although I have been reworking my answers now that it doesn't count.  I am so human!!

I have been continuing to try to feel I am part of all.  I have been asking to have my blocks and plugs removed so that I could be part of the flow.  I had a strange sensation when I was walking this afternoon.  I saw the moon rise and suddenly I saw it as a planetary body.  Usually I see it as a sky decoration, or as a way to measure the month.  But today it was an entity.  It felt right - more complete.  And as I was gazing into the sky, I saw one oak leaf flutter down through the expanse of blue. Just one brown leaf.  I guess I am slowing down and admiring the Earth and seeing the perfection and the beauty.  Getting more into the flow?  Wouldn't that be amazing?

And I understand what you want to do.  You want to heal.  You don't want to salve symptoms any more.  You are a healer.

A loving goodnight to you...Clare

(What costumes did your boys choose?)