Light Permeates

Hello Maggie,

First, the Friends' responses.  They were both sympathetic and available.  They both remained open-hearted.  There were not a lot of questions, but - just - sympathy.  Later, one commented that his life has been easier.  In ways, perhaps...

This weekend someone mentioned the difference between the Light Quakers and the Spirit Quakers.  I am definitely a Light Quaker.  I identify Spirit as Light and resound to the belief that "the Light shines in all."  So you had me up last night thinking about the Light in the void, about Light streaming through a dark so dark we don't see the Light unless it reflects on an object.

I get up at 5:00 am because I work early, and I am supposed to be sleeping, but instead, I was imagining streams of Light from every star in every gallery...Light streaming in every direction from every star in every galaxy.  Light really has to permeate the universe.  We can find it everywhere, but we don't recognize it until something reflects it back to us.

I think Love and Light are the same thing, maybe in different forms or at different vibrations.  And so the image came to me that the world, the galaxy, the universe is permeated with love.  It's there, always, welcoming us but until someone or something reflects it for us, we can't recognize it.  And so our job is twofold.  We need to reflect love to others and we need to recognize the love being reflected to us.  We have to believe in love, believe in that love  (which goes deeper)  and know that in order to do our duty, we must recognize that we are worthy of love.  Those of us who are damaged turn our backs, curl up in baskets, hide in corners.  We are not doing our duty.  We are creating the holes in the fabric that allow dark and dank and scary to enter in.

When I think about that give and take of Light/Love - for we are sources, also - I think of connection with the birds and trees and wolves and flowers.  Another message I received regularly from the flowers, while making essences was, "Remember, you are star-children."  I have interpreted this many ways, but your query has added a new depth to my understanding.

When I was in a peer counseling session, someone used the following on me.

This universe is perfect.  Everything in it is perfect.  Everything cycles exactly the way it is supposed to, in its right time.  Our solar system is perfect.  Every day the sun, the planets, the moons revolve and rotate perfectly, following the patterns as designed. The sun shines, the planets move.  And look at our planet.  It flows through the seasons as it should.  It is marvelous and beautiful and perfect.  The sun rises each morning, and sets each evening.  The moon goes through it's cycles exactly as it should.  The plants bloom in the spring and fruit in the summer.  It is perfect.  And just as the galaxy is perfect, the solar system is perfect, the sun and our planets are perfect...just as everything on Earth is exactly as it should be, so are you...


And this is where I fell apart. I could believe in the goodness of all Creation - except me.  Isn't that arrogant?  Everything is right except me.  And because I don't believe I am correct, worthy, good enough, loveable, I can not do my duty.  There are beings and places I have a responsibility to, and I am not doing my duty.  I am curled up in a corner licking my wounds, waiting to heal - yet not allowing the healing Light to heal me.  I want someone to help me heal, but not if they have to look at me, notice me, touch me.

There's a basic flaw in my approach to life, wouldn't you say?????

Adam and Eve tried to hide because they were ashamed.  Didn't Brene say shame means I am a mistake.  Somehow this has come to us through religion.  It has been indoctrinated into us.  I remember knowing that as a girl I was less valuable than a boy, not as smart, and - unclean!  Add family patterns of abuse, and that place where I thought it was my fault that I was raped...no wonder we are hiding.  It hurts not to, yet it hurts when we do.

Time to stand up, I think.  I hope I have the wisdom and the strength!

Thank you for loving me...Clare

Dark really isn't dark if it is permeated with Light.  Just because we don't perceive the Light doesn't mean it isn't there.