These Broken Wings CAN Heal - Then We'll Fly!

Good morning little sister,

I hope you slept long and slept well, and woke up to cheerfully greet this lovely Saturday.  We had a heavy frost.  When I pushed my little dog out the door, and her paws hit icy grass, she looked over her shoulder - a bit reproachfully - was I really going to make her go out in this cold?  I did.  I am a nasty human!  She is almost 14 years old now, and so she knows winter.  She knows it comes, and then the spring begins.  With her health lately, I wonder if she will see another spring.  When that happens I will be without a dog for the first time since 1985.  Unless another finds me or draws me...

I had a friend who was working on a hypnosis certification and used me as a test subject - this was back in the 90s.  We worked fairly well together.  I learned that you have to trust your therapist implicitly.  Otherwise, you stay shallow enough to protect self.  Is that the reasoning of an abusee?  We worked a lot with past lives, which was fascinating.  I also worked a bit on my inability to be in a relationship with Dad.  I identified the fact that we had slime through our family line.  I saw the slime oozing through the generations for countless generations.  It went so far back I couldn't find the initial breach.  I faced his attitudes and reactions to me as a child - my feeling was that he thought we were dirty and disgusting.  (I think I had the image of him choking as he changed a crappy diaper!)  On a deeper level, was he/I recognizing and reacting to the slime? 

Hypnotherapy might be an answer.  Or it might offer another piece of the puzzle.

As I write and think I have had music on in the background.  A song by Mary Black just drew my full attention.  It is Broken Wings.

A tall tree turn and face the west
 Oh we're running with the wind  
A high clifftop we're waiting with the rest  
For this journey to begin

Chorus
But these broken wings won't fly 

These broken wings won't fly  

These broken wings won't fly at all

And oh how we laugh but maybe we should crawl  

And ask to be excused

We shout loudly, have answers to it all  

Oh but we have been refused

Chorus

Girl child You're dancing with the stream 

Growing with the silver trees  

Your young questions  

You ask me what it means  

Oh but I am not at ease

These lyrics speak to me and to our conditions. But I think our journey has begun.  We are on our way, although we are not yet at ease.  Soon we'll fly.  That is how we'll know we are healing!

My youngest is adjusting.  A baby was not in her immediate plans.  But everything can be a gift.  I have suddenly, in the past weeks, seen the woman she has potential to become.  She has needed to grow up, and this is a hard way to do it, but it can be an effective way.  I think the reality of her future is becoming - real.

And this will be my second Taurean grandchild...cool!!

If you do want to try the Spiritualist mediums? I can try to locate someone through their church.  Maybe we could all work by conference call, or maybe you can spend a day or two here.

Enjoy your weekend...Looking forward to your next missive!

Love, Clare