"Polo"

So I am here, calling you back to a safe place. Breaking through to emotions is difficult...but necessary.
I used to think I was the only person who had cut myself off from others...appear to be engaged, but maintaining distinct, rigid boundaries to keep myself safe. I used to think that, I alone, had crafted my wall around my heart and that everyone else was living, feeling, breathing a wholehearted life...and I was left out...again.
But, I have come to realize that this wall is a pretty universal experience...and that one of the challenges of a lifetime is to dismantle it and see our connections.
I think this is Jung's self-actualization...
finally being aware of the collective consciousness...
finding that "Peace that surpasses all understanding".
We are here for this task...
we incarnate into separate bodies so that we can fight our way back to the insight that we are all one...
BUT WHY?
What's the purpose?
Why don't we just remain in peaceful existence in that other dimension?
Perhaps we crave the experience of a solid, flesh and bones body...
Perhaps we need to work through certain dilemmas or learn specific lessons that are better learned experientially.
Perhaps this is just illusion and we really are resting within the collective.

Why am I rambling?
I guess I wanted to explain that you are not alone. That you are very normal and are reacting to circumstances normally. That maybe this is an opportunity to cultivate interdependence by reaching out to someone for support, compassion, empathy...and not being stoically, ruggedly independent.
For 2 days I keep hearing,
"Reach out and touch somebody's hand, make this world a better place, if you can."
Maybe that's the best thing that you can do...reach out to someone...and this time let them be the one to say "Me Too"...let them carry and support you through this time. You have always been the strong one, the responsible one, the one who controlled...perhaps it is time for you to change your role and let someone else lead and support. If you are like me, it will seem like a personal betrayal to ask for help or show my need...but it is an opportunity to grow and love and live more fully. Have the courage to be "excruciatingly vulnerable" that's the sure way of breaking our family legacy...not just the sexual, physical and emotional abuse...but the isolation and secrecy that maintain it. 

Me Too,
Break the silence, Break the cycle

We are brainstorming a contest of the local high schools to design an advertising campaign with that slogan. I can't wait to see what comes of it....to see others' interpretations of it...to see it come to life.
I am giving a talk at a women's conference in October about Stress, Disease and Resilience...Me Too is definitely going to be the take home message. I am excited. I do have to work on our survey...damn I have been so busy that I forgot that project...or put it on the back burner...I am sorry.

I am here if and when you need me.
Blessings,
Maggie