A new day

Yesterday was painful. I had incredible pain in my head and neck...most likely a combination of my sneezing, wheezing and screaming the day before. I literally laid alternately on the couch and floor trying to find relief. I finally gave up about 12:30 and called a friend who is a massage therapist. I see her regularly because my neck is chronically in spasm. She agreed to see me at 3:30. When I got there she told me I looked like s**t and worked on my shoulders and neck for an hour. By the time I left I had relief, and by the evening the pain was gone. Thank God for healers. She told me that my energy was swirling and didn't know which direction to flow...kind of like me.

Today is better. I taught this morning. Then I grocery shopped. Then cleaned the house, trying to get as much cat hair out as possible for my 13 college women who are visiting for the weekend. The ladies are canning for Thon...a yearly fundraiser for pediatric cancer research and family support. Last year daughter #1 raised $12 thousand with a friend. Now she's chairing the fitness instructors' group to raise money for this year. She really wants to dance in the marathon in February.

The boys are more settled today. Last night son#1 told me he's never seen me that angry. I told him that I even scared myself by the burst of anger, but that I meant what I said. He seems settled with it all. Son #2 had a better day yesterday. He played half of the football game and made no errors. Unfortunately I didn't see the game because of my headache.

I have seen many women choose a man over their children, it is sad. When I was separated and dating I tried very hard to not let that happen. It is a real temptation though. Think about it...there is someone new in your life who is really interested in you, wants to be with you, likes to talk with you, wants to spend time just being with you...and then you have kids who want challenge you on a regular basis. There really is a battle that you fight. I think it is a rare dating partner/stepparent who can accept being less of a priority than the kids. We were raised to see kids as less worthy than adults. I give you credit for avoiding that pull to replace your ex-husband with another man. It isn't easy living alone, raising kids by yourself. That's years of tedious, frustrating mommy-ing. I am not sure that I could do it.

I hope that you are enjoying this beautiful day. I took my dogs for a walk and it was sunny and 70 degrees...just perfect. I hung my bedspreads outside and they smell SO good. I am even making bread dough for sweet rolls. Life is good today.
Love and Light,
Maggie