Numbing and Freezing

Clare,

I do understand the freezing of our maturity as we begin and continue to numb. I see it people that I have dealt with and continue to deal with. I am not certain how that plays out in the case of abuse.

I have worked with survivors and each has found a way to cope with their history. Some fragment part of themselves, leave that piece bound away somewhere in their psyche. The worst scenario of this is the dissociative personality disorder...multiple personalities. I once worked with a young woman who had many different alters, the most heartbreaking one of all was the personality that was 4 years old, the age when this woman first experienced abuse. I "met" her first one day when I was drawing blood in the clinic. It turns out that any time this woman was threatened with pain this alter would emerge and have to absorb the painful experience for the rest of the alters. I was the first person to understand what was happening to this woman. The other alters had various ages and unique memories of their life experiences. So, to go back to the original point, I think that abuse is not what freezes our development. I think it is our coping mechanisms that do. Particularly when it comes to substance abuse as a way of numbing. I am thinking of that "black hole" that you have described as surrounding alcoholics.

I have been wondering about our survey/study of abuse behaviors...I am increasingly interested in finding out why some people become empathetic  after abuse and others go one to hurt others who are more vulnerable. I was just wondering if the substance abuse and "stress lifestyle" choices such as overeating, multiple sexual partners, risk taking, substance abuse, aren't that same hurting behavior turned upon oneself. It would signify an option between the two others. Or are there 2 pathways, each with a continuum of behaviors?

Anyway, for me, the important concept from all of this is that numbing in any way freezes at least a portion of you. The only way to reclaim your life and continue along that path of maturation or self-actualization is to face the trauma and transform it so that it no longer holds power over your life.

My dog's vet visit was uneventful. Her physical exam and laboratory studies were normal. I am to start her on phenobarb on Monday. I am concerned about it being too sedating for her. I have been watching her very closely. She is such a good dog.

Love and Light,
Maggie