OK...we can speak of transforming suffering. By transforming it we are letting go of it's clamp on our lives. The wounds of intentional, personal violation are the deepest, most confusing, and resistant to healing wounds possible. They have a much greater effect on our lives and psyche than natural disaster or accidental injury.
I keep going back to an interview on NPR...the one that reported the rape of the 10 year old girl by 5 miners. It was done within the same week that the 4 rapist were sentenced to death. There were several quotes that hit me hard. The judge of the trial is reported to have said that if the victim were his daughter, out at night with a boyfriend, and was raped he would have burned her to death from the shame. They also reported a young teen girl who was recently raped and was, in fact, burned to death by her father. The reporter was speaking to an Indian women's rights advocate who said that women are just beginning to realize that their life is not over after they are raped. Prior to the rape, death and public outcry over the brutal rape this past winter they expected to die after sexual assault.
How can we, women, feel so little care for ourselves when we offer love and caring to so many others? How perverse must be our teachings that we come to believe that we are nothing except as we are defined by our relationships to men? More importantly, how can we teach our daughters differently?
I think that one of my articles for this newsletter will be about the culture of rape and violence against women...and the twisted expectations for males in our society and the world.
Your analogy of your healing wrist is important. What you have to remember is that the healing takes several distinct stages, like the emotional healing that is taking place. At first the fracture is quickly surrounded by a collection of blood which bathes it in sterile fluid filled with healing cells. Once the immediate swelling has decreased cartilage forming cells come into the fracture site and set up a scaffolding or mold for the repair. This repairs the continuity of the bone, makes it more functional, but it is still easily broken and fragile. Once the mold has been completed bone forming cells move in and replace the cartilage with mineralized bone creating a callus around the fracture site which makes that area of bone even stronger than it was before the fracture occurred. If the bone doesn't work through all of these stages there is chronic pain, stiffness, and deformity. So, with abuse, if we are surrounded with love and support, we could proceed through the stages seamlessly. But, we lacked that support and nurturing to establish a healthy healing environment. So we have to continue to break and re-break those wounds to potentially experience healing. That's what we are doing here...breaking and re-breaking the bones to allow the best healing possible...hopefully leaving us stronger than we ever were before.
We do seem to be dancing...you lead while I submerge in the swamp and then we exchange roles. It has become comforting to know that you will support me when I need it and correct me when I need that too. This has become a safe place to explore many topics...that all seem to be inter-related with abuse and violence.
Thank you for that.
I am getting quite discouraged, again, about my lack of job opportunities. I am wondering if I am looking for the wrong thing...perhaps the universe has different plans for me. But I am so drawn to education and advocacy and public policy, I just can't see another way. A friend offered to take me to a Gestalt workshop with her. Gestalt is a counseling technique...maybe I should take her up on the offer and see if it speaks to me.
I am glad that there is laughter in your house. I wish there was more of that here. I seem to be butting heads with my boys on a daily basis. I guess I should be better at picking my battles.
Enjoy the beautiful harvest moon.
Love and Light,
Maggie
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