Perceptions

It's interesting that your perception was that the rest of us are well-adjusted.  I never thought so.  I have always believed we are all screwed up, that none of us are healthy.  I think some of us are a little less warped than the others.  I always thought that my family was the worst...Maybe there's a different access to optimism or to reality between us.

I always thought I had a fabulous memory.  I remember strange, trivial details.  But in this past year and a half, working here with you, I have come to suspect that there are some big gaps, that I have blocked some important events also.  And I always thought it was just you and S#3!  Now I know the brothers have memory lapses, and history rewrites also.

The dissociative personality almost seems like incarnations with one higher self, like the Akashic records.  Too weird.  My mature, detached self is actually frozen with depression and unable to move...

I know when habit is kicking in, when I just want to numb.  I feel prickly and unsettled and uncomfortable in my own body.  I know it passes if I resist, but sometimes I can't wait, so I go to the kitchen and graze.

Moooo!!

When we start to get sick, it is our body's way of telling us we must slow down, rest, take care of ourselves.  Of course, I keep working, no matter how awful I feel.  I hope you take care of yourself, so that your body can heal and restore.

I took the baby for a walk, about a mile and a half long, today.  If I do it for someone else, if I out it on the Must Do list, it gets done.  Why don;t I do it just for my own pleasure?

Another long day.  Another long week...Sigh...

Love you!!

Clare