Pray it went well

Clare,

I feel physically ill. I made arrangements for the CYS worker to pick up my young man from school and take him to his new residence…
a foster home in the northern part of the county…
very rural…
4 other foster sons there…
all teenagers…
he knows 2 of them from activities...
tough, structured foster mom.
It may be a very good fit for him.
I feel ill because I dropped him at school…
continuing the farce that all was as expected…
knowing things were changing dramatically.
I came home…
packed his stuff…
and delivered everything to the CYS worker.
It is her job to handle the "transfers".
PArt of me wishes I had met them at the school and stood in his anger at this next rejection…
but that would have only created drama and allowed me some punishment for my failings.
A very catholic thing to do…
stand in the face of adversity.

I pray it went OK.
I will call tomorrow and ask about it.
I will pray it went ok.
Am I a coward?

I did ask the CYS worker to tell him that he is welcome to communicate with us by email, letter or phone…
we love him and want the best for him…
we are willing to help him in the future, but we cannot live with this much anger in the house.

I came home from the 'delivery' with dried sage bundles…
I have been advised to Sage Smudge my home to drive out the negative energy.
I did that top to bottom…
it smells like I've been getting high all afternoon.
Husband is going to be confused when he gets home tonight.
He has a very poor sense of smell so maybe he won't notice.

I could use a long sleep and some slow deep breathing. I have a meeting in an hour…
then driving to meet my oldest to exchange cars for some service on hers…
then wine and bed.

I'll check in with you tomorrow.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie