Money Musing

I'm not sure what scares me.  I am still sort of reeling from identifying terror with money.

I had a realization once that I thought that all people who had money, especially inherited money in those really, really traditionally wealthy families, were evil.  I knew that they could only have accumulated that much wealth at the expense, the enslavement, of others.  The Walton family currently offends me, and so I never set foot in a WalMart.  I will not support their cruelty and greed.  I have long seen the Bush family, and their cronies as evil.

Then I started to evolve.  I started to see money as a tool.  And that good, kind, generous people could use the tool to create equity and fairness and justice.  Greedy, frightened people hoard, and see themselves as more important than others, and create the homelessness and hunger and inequality we see in every country today.

I also understand that money is not real. I thought about it for a long time.  There have been cultures that have functioned without money.  I know a woman who believes in the gifting society.  I was so impressed.  I joined her in her belief.  If you have something that someone needs, give it to them.  Have faith that when you need, it will be delivered to you.

I think in the beginning, people shared.  People supported each other, mentored each other, mentored the younger generation.  People did what their talent and passion led them to do.  Somehow, someone compared and set a higher value on one product, creating competition.  Suddenly one gift is more important, more valuable than another.  Competition led to barter, to comparative value.  Then pieces of gold or silver began to stand for the value.  And it rushed to this day when we accept pieces of paper, or better yet, numbers in an account.  We have been so well trained, we don't need anything but numbers on a screen.  We will do anything for those numbers.  We will kill for those numbers.

So the question is, in this culture when we believe so deeply that we need money to survive, why do I not value myself enough to let it flow to me?

I am applying for yet another part-time job.  Wish me luck!

Please tell me who accused you of being a gold-digger.  I snorted when I read that.  Just too funny!!!  Of course our beloved patriarch said the same thing about your first serious boyfriend.  Of course Dad is usually a bit more judgmental than logical...

But terror...maybe it means I would have to do all of those wonderful things I have always wanted to do - to heal, to travel, to write, to set up a gentleman's farm- a few sheep, chickens, alpacas, maybe, and gardens...If I had money I might run out of excuses to hide out, and face the world...

Still thinking,

Still sending you love,

Clare