My best friend from college and I have had a few heart-to-hearts, analyzing the world, wondering why women, especially of our generation have to be nice. Why is it so important to be nice? How are we trained, why do we only think we are valuable if we are nice.
One thing that comes to mind is that mothers naturally put their children's needs before their own. That is innate. Perhaps society played on that instinct and used it to invisibilize women. I believe that in a healthy tribe, the community supports the mother so she is not alone. When mama gives all to her baby, she has the security of knowing she is not alone, and that someone who values her and the baby will be there. There is a give-and-take. I feel like I'm rambling, but I know what I mean...
I always go back to waiting for Mom to get to me...Just wait. I'm doing my duty to everyone else, and still waiting...
Dad was bad, but his father was worse. He had horrible names for all ethnicities. Not a nice family. I remember how mad Pop was when one of our cousins was involved with an Oriental woman. He carried on, he was nasty. Dad had calmed down. Remember how he flipped about boyfriends with long hair?
The isms are deep, and almost invisible. I think they form the prisms through which we view life. We need some sort of framework, but we do have to take a giant step backwards and see if we agree with the framework we have been given.
We are going in circles, trying to decide who will get to the party this weekend at what time. No plans are made, and yet they change constantly. This is why I didn't bother to make reservations anywhere!!!
See you Saturday. We can smile together!
Love you,
Clare
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