Maybe Mom

The 'isms" form the prisms through which we view life...

Beautiful.  And profound.  I love it when words come together like that.

I think Mom did rock us and look into our eyes.  I think she saw who was in there.  I remember she sang every night, she read every night - when we were little.  You were toddling in the years I remember.  But she was a victim of the times, of child psychologists telling moms not to spoil their children, not to give into their demands.  I have read over and over that our babies are manipulating us, when they are telling us that what they need is contact, presence, breath, love.   I had my mother-in-law in my face for so long, so sure my babies needed to be weaned, telling me I was spoiling them by picking them up, refusing to let them cry it out.

I was so stressed and frazzled, partly from the pressure of having babies, but also from the constant criticism.  I was whining to my best friend from college who calmly pointed out,  "They're yours to spoil.  If you spoil them, you have to deal with it."  That made all the difference.

The other problem Mom had was a complete lack of community.  We moved every year, and rarely lived near family.  She didn't have anything.  Long distance phone calls were so expensive - all she had were letters.  And sometimes when a mom gets to the end of the day, there is nothing left.  That's why we need dad, sisters, friends, grandma...we need a tribe.

I remembered some of our early family crazy to Mom once, and she said she was probably a little insane at that point.  I was about 4 years old, so she had 4 kids and was pregnant.  Somehow she kept it together, though.

If you would like to stop here, on your drive, you are welcome.  I don;t know if that makes sense or not, but you are welcome.

We are still trying to figure out who goes where when.  This is just who we are!

I will see you in two days.  I am getting nervous, trying to stay out of my rut.

I read something intereting today.  I'll attach it here.  It took me back to something profound I read several years ago.  If I can find it, I will attach it below.  It sort of reminds me of the Course in Miracles...maybe...

http://www.collective-evolution.com/2013/06/16/how-to-by-pass-your-reptilian-brain-and-restore-your-creative-power/#_

I can't find the other.  I was written by Matthew Fox and published in The Center Post, from the Rowe Conference Center years ago.  He talked about having to evolve from the ancient reptilian brain to the newer mammalian brain.  It affected me profoundly.

Off to hang laundry in the bright sunshine.

See you soon...Love you!!!

Clare