Glad you are back...

What wold happen if I just let the ideas swirl in my head????
I am not sure.
I work so hard at clearing my mind that I try hard not to pay attention to the thoughts...
and yet they still swirl on a chaotic day...
do I sit within the chaos and see what it teaches me?
A very interesting thought.

I like the idea of Pronoia...
I do believe that the universe is helping us...
but we (humans and the universe) work at different goals.
The universe tends toward entropy...disorder.
Humans, and all living things, use energy to create order.
Are those complimentary activities or do they work against each other?
I am not sure...probably both.

The one thing that is certain is that it is all energy...
in one form or another...
and my favorite law is the first law of thermodynamics...
energy can be neither created or destroyed, only transformed into other forms.

SO the energy that is swirling in my head may transform itself into some other form of energy or matter.
I will attempt to allow my thoughts to run free and see where they take me.

I do remember your neighbor cautioning me to be patient...
but I am not patient and I am getting anxious to set out on the next part of my journey.
I will remind myself that it will all happen...in due time.

I am going to the beach in 2 weeks.
This is a quiet beach with very few people who go there.
There is no boardwalk, no casino, no mass of human bodies to step around in order to get to the water...
We are going as a family plus 2 friends...
it will hopefully allow us time to reconnect and relax with one another.

It's funny...
when you mentioned our siblings discussing who was least favorite I had an interesting thought...
as a child I never felt least favorite...I didn't feel particularly loved, but I felt that I was tolerable.

I always felt badly for S#3...she was so afraid to be seen. She got in trouble for ruining/canceling the family vacation because of a carbuncle on her leg. She dived into the swimming pool chipping both of her front teeth and was terrified to go home and show the parents. She got hit by a car on our walk to middle school one morning and refused help from the driver, luckily she wasn't injured badly.
She had mishaps and fought against anyone finding out about them. I wonder how many she has successfully hidden from all of us?

It would be interesting to hear B#2's reasoning and stories for his perception of being least favorite. As children I always thought he had as much attention as the youngest two sisters. Maybe there is more to the story than I/we know.

I was looking for an old email today and came across the one from our youngest sister, telling us to resolve our personal issues privately and leave her memories alone. I wonder if she'll come to a point where she has to work through all of this, as we are doing. I wonder if she'll ever admit to imperfections.

Love and Light,
Maggie