A safe distance

I agree that we need others to belong to...we are communal beings.
But why do we sacrifice ourselves, our values, our self-worth, our health and well being for the sake of the group?
Why are we willing to take care of others' needs at the expense of our own needs?
I said something today at lunch with a friend...I told her that it took me a long time to appreciate the value of selfishness...learning to take care of myself so that I can take care of others is important. She just laughed and pointed out that the only reason that I allow myself care is to be able to take care of the other...she asked me why I don't take care of myself for myself? I appreciated her insights. There is something skewed about valuing everyone else more than myself.
But that is how I was programmed...everyone else is more important, more worthy, more in need.
I will work on that.

I like the realization that you had at that moment with your grandson...
the connection is still there...
even if it is distant...
and therefore safe.

I talked about family today at lunch...and realized how much growth has occurred within our family.
I was talking about how prejudiced our father was...and how he came to accept an African-American son in law, and biracial grandchildren. That is an amazing task to accomplish in one lifetime.
It made me gain appreciation for him...but again it is at a safe distance. Perhaps that is how it will have to be for the time being...if distance is safe then this gathering will be challenging. I have been preparing...trying to hold positive images and stop the negative thoughts as soon as I recognize them. Time will tell if it works.

I am appreciating, more and more, how subtle the "isms" are...how deeply ingrained in our minds and culture so that we don't notice their negativity and degradation. It is a way of separating us from them...creating the disconnect that allows for violence to occur and sadly be tolerated on a societal level.

A lot to think about...
Love and Light,
Maggie