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Hi Love,

So nice to have you back!  I'm glad everything went as it was meant to.  You are absolutely correct that the Divine will arrange things if you  trust and allow it to happen.

Your kids are marvelous, even the lost boy. It sounds like he is desperately trying to maintain the drama of his status quo.  It is classic to create a drama when life is about to get real.  But now his Dad has to step in and stop it. 

I have been doing too much and not giving myself the gift of sitting here and blogging with you.  Yesterday I watched the video you shared - How to run like a girl.  It really hit something deep, and I wanted to write about it last evening.  It is amazing how kids know that girls just run.  But older kids - teens and above know that to run like a girl means to be weak and silly.  Like a girl is the ultimate insult.  I was lost in my childhood for a moment. I remember not liking to run a lot.  I liked walking though- I could/would walk for hours.  But once, when I was 7 - I remember the house we were living in - I ran. Something inside of me let go and I felt powerful and free. I was running and completely out of control. There was something small inside, afraid that if I fell, I would really fall. But I ignored it and I ran. 

I wonder if that little girl is still inside me...

Then I started to remember that neighborhood.  There were three families of kids who played together, and a lot of it was unsupervised and a lot of it was sexual. At the time, it seemed normal.  Looking back as an adult, I now see definite signs of abuse,sexual abuse, especially among the kids of one family.  It's amazing how we recognize each other.

I have been getting trapped in the past a lot lately. I'm not sure why.  But memories creep up on me and are in my mind, and I am seeing them from a different viewpoint.


What I was planning to tell you today, because I didn't expect to see you here, is about a moment last night, before sleep.  I sort of got dragged into the Earth.  I started to panic, because it was dark, but I reminded myself to relax and trust, relax and trust.  I became very soft and flexible and suddenly  saw myself being pulled through a trachea, or maybe an intestine, made of dark - like coal. I just traveled.  Once I was relaxed, it was over...

It was interesting, and obviously means something.

So that's the news. S#3 and daughter and grandkids will be here this weekend.  I am looking forward to the company.

Love and hugs,

Clare