control freak

Clare,

We are all control freaks…
face it we are most comfortable when we can predict what's going to happen.
Surrendering to the process is just not our first choice.

I wonder if S#3's frequent visits aren't about controlling her son as well. She is doing a lot of visiting for a 28 year old child. Is it because she is trying to control him, even from that distance? I worry that she just cannot let go of him in her daily life- not for his sake, but for her own.

What are your travel dates? I can't remember and I am too lazy to read back through to find out.
Are you taking the bus again?

My youngest is not looking at the Quaker schools because they are very competitive, very expensive and have wait lists. It doesn't even help that I am a Quaker- we can't butt the line. He is looking at one Mennonite school that isn't too far away, which would be my choice. His first choice is in Pittsburgh- which means trips to pick him up on weekends or him riding the bus to Harrisburg. I did talk to S#4 today about the school- she knew nothing about it. My oldest has classmates at college who graduated from there who really liked it and did well. It's funny that this might put me in closer contact with S#4. we have a visit scheduled for next Tuesday- including an entrance exam and interview with the admissions director. My youngest is excited. He has to fill out a questionnaire, which asks to talk about 3 books he's read recently and why he liked them. Well, today he started reading. He had to read A Tale of Two Cities for school, so he's using that one- but he needs 2 others. I just picked up The Giver for him to read so he's tackling that one now. It reminds me of A Brave New World, but modernized.

Husband and I walked tonight- we were talking about how much life changes and how unpredictable it all is. We were watching little kids practicing soccer and football- our boys did that just a few, short years ago. They seemed so innocent then. And now they are battling very adult temptations and trials. We are worried about what the older boy will choose when he is finished his desert walking. We both agree that if he returns to this school district he will have to have some structured, after school activities- sports or a job. He gets into trouble when he's bored.
But, he will have to choose….
and we will have to trust.
trust that he has learned from his walking or will learn from consequences of his choices.

This is a challenging time to parent…
that cusp between adolescent and adult…
the boys are in such a hurry…
and we still want to teach.

I can't do what our parents did and just set us free at 18…
we're done!
but I also can't strangle hold them.