synchronicity

Synchronicity:  My daughter-in-law sent me this blog.  It was in my email early this morning, so it was the first thing that I read, and thought about.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bunmi-laditan/i-miss-the-village_b_5585677.html

This is what we didn't know we wanted, but needed so desperately.

So, my house is quiet.  I am the only human at home.  I am enjoying the silence, on many levels.

You wrote about light vs darkness/absence of light.  I often think of shadow, we are blocking the light, or turning our back on the light.  Then I saw your son's therapist is called his shadow.  Perhaps he shelters your son from too much light too fast...

Houses are cleanable.  Remember that.  I have probably explained my twenty-year rule, but just in case - always ask yourself, will we remember that the house was clean in twenty years? or will we remember the drama it took to get it clean? Repeated experiments proved - every time - the dirty dishes will still be there in the morning, and they still get clean.

I think the pressure you were feeling physically was symbolic of the pressure you are feeling with all aspects of healing.  Slow down, take care of you, too.  Please...

I was wondering if you were thinking about seeds of greatness in each of your children.  I was thinking about yours - your seeds of greatness.  I remember you as a child being practical, present, cheerful, funny.  You never let anything stop you.  Something in you knew you were worth it.  You wanted singing lessons, you figured out how to make it happen.  You knew you could do it.  You said you were going to be a doctor when you were 7 years old, and you never let anything sway you. You know how to keep your eye on the goal, and not let us see you sweat as your achieve it - you do it with lots of grace and finesse.  You also notice people...that is a gift.

I've been thinking more about depression, not because I want advice or an escape, but because I want to understand.  I remember seeing a quote, and I looked for it for a long time today, and finally found it:

“It is no measure of good health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” ~Jiddu Krishnamurti

I think if we are aware, we have to be depressed on some level.  That inward sadness motivates us to see, to understand, to act, to change.  When we look at our society, it is overwhelmingly painful. And when we are raised in violent, dysfunctional homes, the pain seems inescapable. Or paralyzing.

I was thinking about treatment, about working part-time and not having coverage.  Of being terrified of missing work, because of being one missed paycheck away from disaster.   Some people don't need meds to show up.  These people are suffering, but who cares.  They show up and support the system.

It always comes back down to slavery. We are slaves of the system, we are slaves of our past.  But we need to feel it, experience it.

Impressions of dawn - my absolute favorite time of day.

I look forward to hearing more about the assignments and family reactions. I really respect this program you have chosen.

Love and hugs and prayers for peace,

Clare