Processing

Clare,

We are being taken apart, piece, by piece…
or should I say peace by peace?

I had a reiki session today that left me with 30 minutes of absolutely no pain…
I was so disappointed to be called back into my body…
and the pain swept over me like a chilly breeze.
This expansion is really uncomfortable…
I am going to request less fluid to decrease the amount of muscle spasm from now on…
it will take longer, but maybe I will sleep.

I had an all -out battle with myself about reading a book by Clarissa Pinkola Estes about the Blessed Mother, but yesterday decided to read it. Untie the Strong Woman: Blessed Mother's Immaculate Love for the Wild Soul.
I gave up on the Catholic version of the Virgin Mary many years ago-
wanting a role model- not some perfect, celibate being who lived life on the fringe to remain pure.
But, in the author's incredible style, she shows her to be all women, mother earth, plants and animals who nourish and sustain us. It is what I needed to read, especially since she repeats that the comfort and sustenance comes to those most vulnerable. Serendipity strikes once again.

My son has been accepted into the wilderness program…
I will be flying to Phoenix this Thursday to leave him in a sacred place to find the best of what lies within him.
I am nervous, but excited.
I have asked my Meeting to hold him in the Light, and my reiki healer to help him to see the gift that lies before him through this experience…
and I ask the same of you…
that he accept this as a gift of true love and parental devotion.

I talked with my reiki healer about our Mom's inability to comfort me when I wept beside her…
hoping for insight...
but she had nothing to offer…
at least not verbally.

I am not sleeping well…
it is difficult to find a comfortable position…
and right now I need a short rest.

Until tomorrow,
Love and Light,
Maggie