my ridiculous side

Clare,
I sent my youngest off yesterday with S#3…
they should be on the island about now.

I am jealous…
I could use the special healing of that place…
but he needs it too…
and I have other things to do.

Tomorrow is a big day.
I feel prepared…
yet anxious.
I hate not being truthful and forthright with information…
but I do fear his escaping.
How do you tell someone that you love them so much, and want the best for them, so we're sending you away? At his age, we all would have been within 3 months of being put out…
"when you're 18 you're out of here".
I just love him so much. I never want him to feel the sting of being unwanted, unloved, unseen, unappreciated.
I see his incredible potential…
but he sees only good times at this present moment.

I have reached out to you, and to another friend who had a similar situation…
she said that as long as they know you've not given up on them they will come around. Her son has 4 dead friends (aged 24) due to drugs and alcohol…and he is thriving. She attributes it to consistently telling him that they love him but will not tolerate the drugs.

I had another expansion today- I only got 1/2 as much. Last week remained painful for 6 days after. It already feels much better than last week. While in Arizona we are going to drive to Sedona- a place of special spiritual hearings and energy. I am really looking forward to that excursion. They describe vortexes of energy, masculine and feminine. It sounds fascinating. I will let you know.

I meet with the surgeon tomorrow. I should get my "report card" and find out if additional therapy is necessary. I will be on the road and probably not blogging until I return Sunday or Monday, but will call you and let you know.

I think the part of me that you were describing is the part that is allowing me to see the humorous side of my life- even cancer. Last night we were laughing because the underside of one of my lady lumps was swollen and looked ridiculous. It's about people looking at me, asking what's different and then deciding that I've cut my hair. It's being tangled up in a tank top because I cannot get it below my arms to slide elbows through and having to walk around in a straightjacket looking for assistance.

Love and Light to you,
Maggie