The computer store restored and replaced the damaged parts…
they said it was under warranty because they could not detect water damage…
even though we told them the truth.
My life has been a nightmare since I last blogged…
we have spoken about it on the phone…
I have processed it partially…
definitely not fully digested what's happening in the universe…
and how all of this fits in yet.
My older son is desperately in need of guidance…
guidance that is beyond my abilities so we have chosen Anasazi…based on Navajo traditions.
My inner voice tells me that this is right.
My right brain tells me that this is right.
My left brain is constantly coming up with "what ifs".
This is just an excerpt of their philosophy…
it is what I would want for myself and for my son.
The ANASAZI Way is a way of “walking” in the wilderness and in life.
The ANASAZI Way is a way of “being” and “doing” that…
- Acknowledges the Creator in all good things.
- Sees greatness in each YoungWalker and regards them as a person of infinite worth and potential.
- Respectful of each YoungWalker’s agency (the ability to choose to walk forward or walk backward).
- Recognizes that each YoungWalker is part of a family and honors each family’s personal faith and traditions.
- Seeks a heart at peace, knowing that YoungWalkers respond best to those who care about them deeply.
- Utilizes Mother Nature, survival skills, makings, sittings, and steppings to create opportunities to listen, learn, discover, and teach.
- Provides opportunities for each YoungWalker to leave behind the old and begin anew—always inviting a change of heart (from heart at war to a heart at peace).
- Is safe, prepared, attentive, and responsive to the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of each YoungWalker.
God, I pray this gives him back his focus and self-confidence.
I have cried many times over about this…
and yet I see this as an opportunity for growth for all of us…
we can all benefit from growth.
I think a lot of the tears that have been shed are about cancer…
and broken family relationships…
and not being able to care for myself…
and vulnerability…
and fear of the future need for chemo- yet to be determined…
and physical pain…
As I sat sobbing next to mom last weekend I realized she has never seen me cry before…
at least as an adult…
she quietly cried too…
rubbed my shoulder…
but didn't know how to comfort me…
I think I realized how much she has lacked comforting in her own lifetime…
how sad.
Dad was strangely silent for the first time in a long time.
He tried hard to divert attention to the dog's antics once I composed myself…
but we are such an ill-equipped family emotionally.
Mom has called me to reassure me that my son is a wonderful, patient person…
he had to accompany her to a doctor's appointment.
I appreciated her kindness…
they could turn on him and punish him for causing "such a fuss"
I won't see him for 7 weeks…
pray that seven is indeed a sacred number.
I just have to find the right words to explain what the rest of his summer is going to be like.
Divine guidance would be great at this point.
I don't know what else to write…
there's so much more to write…
but until tomorrow,
Lova and Light,
Maggie
PS- I have never ironed jeans or sheets- sometimes I do put them back in the dryer for 10 minutes if they are really bad though.
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