Somewhere new

I had an interesting moment today.  I was talking to someone who said she has heard the advice that we should each go someplace we have never been before at least once a year.  I felt tears starting.

I suddenly felt hollow and - I don't know - pathetic, sorry for myself.

And I wanted to go somewhere new to me.

I've been fantasizing about throwing the dogs in the car, and loading up my daughter and granddaughter, and driving to wherever looks interesting...then keep driving and exploring until we reach the kids on the west coast.  Just for fun, my daughter and I made a list of all the states we have been in, and which ones we haven't.  I think I need an escape.

When she said go somewhere new, I thought of Normandy or St. Petersburg, Tibet...Patagonia.  So, I'm starting to cry as I write.  I'm back to Shirley Valentine - I am sure I have quoted this character in the past..."Why do we dream such big dreams and live such little lives?"

I have trapped myself.  For almost all of this life I have kept myself in this trap, and again, I don't know how to get out.  Sorry, I'm whining again.  And it's my riddle to solve.

Later I rethought - somewhere new.  And sometimes when I am in the forest, I stumble upon a new place, a new tree, a new hill.  I don't have to cross oceans and hear new languages to be somewhere new.

Then I thought of my soul's evolution, since this time we have been working together.  And I am somewhere new.

I guess...if I think holistically...I am not trapped...unless I think I am...and dwell on it...and feel sorry for myself...

It is fun to see you making such progress all at one time.  But I think that is how it works.  We get everything organized, then blast through.

The horses have rescued you as much as you have rescued them.  Don't forget to open your heart and say thank you.

Thank you,

Clare