About last night

I woke up angry all over again.  I have a young friend, she's one of my youngest's sister-friends.  She was adopted from a different country, as was her older brother.  She was adopted as a newborn, her brother was older.  The parents got pregnant during the adoption process, and suddenly had two daughters the same year.  The brother had some problems, and he began abusing the older sister.  Rape was the culmination.

She talked to me about it once, and I thought the parents did not know.  Last night I found out that the mom knew when it was happening, she knew.  I am a Quaker.  I was in a Quaker meetinghouse.  But for a brief, powerful surge of emotion - I wanted to kill.  The humane part of me stepped in and wondered what had happened to this woman to so completely destroy her humanity.  But I still wanted to get in her face and throttle her.  So much was going in on my brain.  I thought of you when you became aware that I knew you were in the woods with B#3, and that your sense of betrayal and shock was probably like mine last night.  During the discussion - it involved my youngest and an ex-girlfriend and good friend of the father's (who still does not know) they explained that part of what was happening was that the older was getting in the way to protect the younger.  Reminded me of your words...

This young woman told me, a few times, that she was adopted by the wrong family.  She wanted to be my daughter.  I was flattered that she loved me, and she did live with us for a time...but now I understand on a deeper level.  She did not have a mother...

I had a dream last night.  You and S#3 were testifying about some kind of investment fraud, including millions of people.  It had something to do with open spaces versus closed rooms in houses.  B#1 and B#4 were also involved.  I remember thinking that sometimes it's good not to  have money.  Now, I know this is all on a completely different level - but I don;t know where...

I love you,

Clare