I love the fact that your grand-daughter is trying to put her fist in her mouth…You go girl! I still do it occasionally…much to husband's dismay…and my kids' delight. It's a gift…what can I say?
Balance is very important…
what people don't comprehend is how incredibly inter-related and interdependent we are…
one human with another…
one species with another…
even chemically we are interdependent.
People think they can take and take and take and never pay back…
or even pay forward…
what a concept…
doing something that will never benefit you, but those who come after you.
One of the lessons I like to teach, each semester, is interdependence. Scientist, and nonscientists, need to, not only know this, but make it a part of their daily considerations. We are killing ourselves…and yet we are so afraid of change that we continue on the same path…despite hearing how dire the consequences are.
My dog is sick…
the one with the seizure disorder…
she has been vomiting intermittently since Tuesday…
she vomited blood tinged material on Wednesday…
I took her off food and gave her rice with chicken broth for 2 days and she seemed better. Yesterday I gave her kibbles again and I was jarred awake by her vomiting blood this morning. It was a moderate amount…several ounces.
I spoke with a Friend this morning at Meeting, she's a vet…
she told me to have her checked early this week…
it could be a foreign body or a tumor…
she smells like a GI bleed…it takes me back to my hospital days…a very distinct odor…
and she is just laying on the floor…
moving slowly to follow me around the house. I am afraid for her.
This has been a week of health issues in friends and family.
A friend from husband's middle school days collapsed at a gym…luckily he was resuscitated with a defibrillating machine. A friend had a lumpectomy. Husband's uncle fell, broke a hip and passed away late in the week. I am concerned for our cousin, uncle and brother with tumors at various stages of treatment. I just feel as if it is a bad time for many.
I count my blessings…but realize all of this is very close to home…and can visit here at any time.
Things just feel off. I am really glad that everything begins this week. I feel as if I need to be actively engaged…
but then I worry that I am falling into my distraction mode.
I have fought the urge to bury myself in research, studying and writing this weekend…
just trying to stay present to life.
This whole distraction thing is a recurrent issue for me…
it is an addiction of sorts…
when the going gets tough Maggie dives into the computer or a book to escape…
it's better than drugs…
and I get paid for some of it…
but it still is my way of escaping tough emotions.
It's really interesting to step back and analyze myself…
and my actions.
I did follow a leading this week.
I have not been singing for a long time…
I started to sing Christmas carols last month…
and recently I had a strong sense of offering a song-filled workshop at our Quarter's annual retreat.
I sent in my proposal…
Singing the Psalms…
this week and it was accepted.
So now I have opened music up in my life again. This will motivate me to practice and rehearse. I think it's a good thing. I have ignored this leading several times before…
so now I accept it…
we will see where it takes me.
I do wonder about the archetypes of each of our siblings. Some I would better classify as wounded children, some orphans. Those who still maintain their victims status, trying to garner sympathy. In the past I have wondered how I could have made the contracts that I did…sure, I'll be born into an abusive, dysfunctional family…suffer in silence and isolation for the first half of my life…all the while pretending to be happy and successful...and finally, at 50, understand that there is so much more to life than being a survivor. Who agrees to this kind of scenario? Obviously I/we did. And on the flip side…our parents agreeing to have 9 kids who they cannot afford or handle, knowing they were going to neglect and abuse them…all to teach them higher lessons. I hope that, at the end of my life, I don't look back and feel saddened by my making someone's life miserable…even if it taught them something. I guess when I am at that point of retrospection I will have greater understanding of cause and effect of each action or omission. I have a friend, a priest, who says, "when I die I just want people to remember that I was kind." I like that.
I am glad that you are finding interesting things in those discs.
I hope that you have a quiet night and a good Monday.
Love and Light,
Maggie
No comments:
Post a Comment