I will hold your grandson in the light. Hopefully it will all come back negative.
I wrote a blog today on sexual assault…I surprised myself how angry I was when I wrote it. My state has a bill proposed that will set up PFA orders for sexual assault victims, much like domestic violence victims. This bill has been introduced 4 time prior to this, passed in the senate all 4 times but gets hung up beyond there, either at the House or Governor's chair. So I started writhing about sexual violence and I felt passionate about this subject. The article isn't anything earth-shattering, just asking people to contact their representatives to ask them to support this bill, but I was feeling it. I did take the opportunity to share the video from Men Let's Talk on rape and also Project Unbreakable's website through the blog.
My class starts tomorrow. I don't teach on the first day. I try to engage them, telling them a little about me, and getting to know them. I am really looking forward to meeting them. There are only 11 in the class…that's a great class size. I might actually know their names within the first month…not one of my strengths. I am looking forward to getting back into a full schedule again.
So, this morning, I called my son a name…
He was being obstinate…
made all of us late…
which he does regularly…
and then he broke a broom against the sidewalk when I told him to assume the consequences for his actions and take the detention for tardiness…
I regretted it as soon as I said it.
But, on the ride to school I spoke to him about responsibility and personal consequences. His lateness earns his brother detention too. I told him that I'd rather have him learn the lesson now with detention than at a job when he would be fired…and create an unreliable record.
He came home after school and said this was one of the worst days at school, because of the way it started…
he apologized…
hopefully he will learn at least a little bit from today.
I apologized for calling him a name…
he said it was all right…
but I still wonder if he'll ever forget his mom calling him an asshole…
some days I'm a better mom than others.
I took the dog to the vet, they are running blood work and treating her as if she has gastritis. She hasn't vomited again- which is good- but she smells terrible. I still have all of the animal food above her head level and am giving her rice and broth. She's sluggish, but will go outside…she even chased a crow off the driveway…crows are her nemesis…she watches for them through the day and barks if they land on the driveway. I hope her labs come back OK tomorrow. If not we will do X-rays, and further tests.
I hope that your back is less painful. I am surprised that my fall on the ice hasn't left me more painful. I am thankful.
Husband is on the way to the mid-west with his brother for a funeral. The boys have midterms tomorrow so they are studying and heading to bed…and I will also head to bed very soon.
I just read your note…I responded to S#5's email about the anniversary…
I suggested we all contribute to a cruise or something for our parents since it is their anniversary to celebrate.
I, too had the same reaction, and was embarrassed by it…"what do you mean another gathering?"
I wonder if she is trying to create the family of her dreams or to make things as good as possible before they die?
The problem that I see is that, when we get together there is no real sharing…we occupy space for a time period and then go our separate ways…what a waste of time and energy.
I also think she likes to be the hub of activity…
and attention…
I will reluctantly admit to a sense of jealousy whenever mom writes about how wonderful S#5 and her family are….
not sure if it is jealousy…
or envy…
or what.
I am reluctant to say what my negative reactions are…
because then you would see how small and petty I really am…
it's amazing how this pushes a button for me!
Love and Light,
Maggie
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