I think you're all digging your way to the bottom. And getting through the dirt is not the fun part. I'm glad that your youngest talks to you, is more open and up-front about it all.
I never think in terms of breaking the law. I don't think it is a moral law, and I really don't think it is a legal law. I think it's a modern form of prohibiton. I think the law was made to keep the prisons filled, to serve the corporate greed that runs so much of our daily lives. The only problem with breaking the law is that the unjust will make you pay unjustly, and it's not fair. It can screw up your life - again, not fair.
The argument we have is whether it is addictive or not. Apparently, according to all of the research, marijuana is not addictive. But I hold to the belief that anything that numbs can be addictive. I think it's better to face the pain, than to hide in it. Being high all the time separates us from reality, both pain and joy.
I will spill a family secret. One of mine went to the dentist on a Friday afternoon. The result was a new filling. As the anaesthesia wore off, there was immense pain. Apparently there was an exposed nerve being pressed on by the filling. I called the dentist who prescribed a pain killer, and made an appointment for Monday morning. I went and got the Vicoden, maybe. It didn't work. My child could not sleep, was whimpering...it was horrible. I knew where I could get some pot, and so in the middle of the night - I went. It worked. And the story got around, a little. I pointed out that I am an herbalist, and sometimes it is the right medicine. I was desperate...I couldn't think of anything else.
With your older son, I think listening is a great idea. I know I flubbed that up more than once - wanting to lecture, wanting them to just hear me. But the kids simply shut down, feel disrespected. I knew that.
I don't think Mom ever dealt with any of our substance addiction. B#1 was dropping acid at age 12 or 13. B#2 had a pocketful of yellow jackets, once. Dad found them when he started wondering why the kid was sleeping all the time. The boys really ran the gamut of all the drugs. I tried smoking a few times, but really did not like it. So, in the face of that, when Dad found a pipe in the old garage, he picked me up from school and threatened me. Yeah, they were not very astute. But then I think mine did more than what I was aware of...so maybe I am equally naive.
Grandkids are sick, daughter and I are feeling - like maybe it's looming. The baby is fussy. Time to sleep, becaise of course I have a heavy work schedule - for which I am grateful!!
Love and hugs,
Clare
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