I can't wait to hear about the workshop. With the weather we are having, it's a good thing I didn't leave here. We use the woodstove as our primary heat, and with this cold, I have to pay close attention. The wind is making it difficult, blowing across the top of the chimney, forcing smoke back down and into the house. When I woke up this morning, the temperature was in the 50's. When it's that temperature at night in the spring, I sleep with the windows open and love it. The temp is back up, now - but we had a chilly start. Today and tomorrow will be temperate, but on Tuesday we'll have another blast of frigid air.
I think being outside, and using our bodies, is a remedy for many problems - both physical and emotional. I was fighting with depression once, and a close friend said she was getting the feeling that I needed to get outside and walk. She was right, but I have my bad pattern of saving the things that are good for me for until I have done what I have to do. Since I never get through the Have to list, I never take care of myself.
Something to think about when considering living an authentic life.
As part of authentic living, we have begun sitting down at the table for meals - instead of grazing or of watching something while we eat. This morning we were eating breakfast and talking about the Christmas tree - the history of some of the ornaments. My youngest observed that she missed a lot of the family memorabilia. Not many of the ornaments were made for her. We don't have as many baby photos of her as of the older kids. So I started telling her what our life was like when she was a baby. We were struggling for money, her father had just gotten a DWI and we had huge fines and he had to spend weekends in counseling - so we didn't see him much. Mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer...Things were crazy - and that's when I got pregnant. My ex had been working locally for a few months, but went back "home" to work, taking my car. He admitted later he was afraid that if I had a car, I would leave him. So he left me carless for about seven months - I had very few prenatal visits.
She was born into that. He was living with his parents, home on weekends. He refused to go home at night, so he spent as lot of money in bars or eating out. He would come home with little money. So no camera, no little things that make life more fun.
We talked for a while, and she calmly observed that I wasn't much different than her. Maybe my ex never physically abused me or screamed at me, but I had described some obvious psychological and emotional abuse. We talked a little about family patterns and finding the familiar as we make life choices...
Life is dragging me away...
Can't wait to hear about your day!
Love from Clare
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