Phewwww!

He declared war, but you refuse to fight with him.  Excellent.  I know you will continue to fight for him.  Mothers do that.  I was relieved when you reported that he was home.  The fact that his peers think he is out of control is significant.

Your experience triggered us.  It triggered my daughter who started recalling two of her worst choice boyfriends - one who used meth, the other used pharmaceutical painkillers.  She recalled some of their worst behaviors.  It was a good moment to think about judgment.  I know she has the family "illness" of wanting to save a potentially good guy from himself.  Since she had her baby, actually since she came home pregnant, she has not been interested in anything romantic.  I think this time out is good for her.  I think she has changed, grown up a lot, become more adult and aware/concerned for others - less caught in her dramas.  I hope that when she does decide to date again - first, that she really dates rather than this scenario they have now of finding someone they like and basically merging their lives.  Too much influence of fluffy movies, maybe.  But I hope she thinks carefully, and takes the dating time to really get to know the person and their habits.

I was glad to be able to worry with you last night, from a distance.  It felt like family.  I will continue to send love and hold you all in the Light. 

I remember when B#2's wife staged an intervention and forced him to agree to try rehab.  I remember talking to him at that time, and he shared some amazing insights he learned in rehab.  I think some feelings about interventions have changed.  I have always been troubled by the feeling that the person targeted is both blind-sided and ganged up on.  It seems like it could lead to a feeling of group rejection.  But, do you think any of his friends would be able to say they think he is out of control?  I would be nervous about trying it, fearing that he may simply seek out a peer group who cares even less.

Just thinking out loud, here.  Not trying to advise in any way, shape or form.

The teen years are so hard - for everyone involved...You have my sympathy, my love, my shoulder and my ear - any time you want it.

I love you all,

Clare