What is our value?

I have been reading a lot of opinions about the rape verdict.  I read one that has stayed with me.  So many people have said, "What if it was your daughter?  What is it was your wife?"  I have thought that myself.  I have wondered if men who objectify women would rethink their position if they filled in the face of a beloved female, especially one that is protected, hopefully by them.  But the author pointed out that by asking the question we are inadvertently stating that women are only valuable in relation to men.  So does that mean if I have no brothers, no spouse, no sons that I am available to be raped?  I had to stop and think.

And maybe we are only valuable in relation to others in this violent society...None of us are valuable in and of ourselves.  We are valuable if we have or make money.  We are valuable is we have the look that is currently considered beautiful.  If we don't have those traits, we are valuable if we are rapable or can be drafted into the military to become fodder, in both cases, for those who control it all.

You said the young man wrote his musical about bullying and he realized that:  Bullying is about control and taking power from another in order to make yourself feel more powerful.  I see that.  We feel powerless when our parents don't respond to us, or worse - are brutal to us.  But I also think that bullying is a way to stop the pain.  It is one more addictive behavior stemming from that desperate search to stop the pain.

I have long said that we could change the world by homebirthing, extended nursing, baby wearing, homeschooling - simply go back to the natural/normal/humane way of raising kids and let a new society develop.  But all of this has to be done in the context of family, extended family, tribe.  It's simple!  We need each other.  We need to be touched.  We need to be noticed.  We need it from Day 1.

You are right.  As children, we were less valued than keeping secrets.  We were trained young to smile and pretend everything was fine and that we were a good family - no matter what was really going on.  I can see why it is easier to forget, and pretend it never happened.  It's the only way to acceptance...and I am back to - we need each other.  That may be the message of my life.  We need each other and we need to be needed.

I have been feeling like I am free-falling lately. I don't seem to know who I am or what I am supposed to be doing.  I am trusting it, but I am uncomfortable...no, you know I just don't like it.  I am not sure how to find myself...

But I love you...Clare