I cried today..and I survived...a step forward

I had another one of those interesting days...
I went to the office and started talking with the other interns about the Steubenville case and the comments and reactions...we talked for over an hour about the lack of true parenting and instilling the value of life in our children ( over-generalization of course).

Then I had to write a reflection on the ways that this masters program has changed me, personally and professionally. It was good to sit and think about the changes that have happened over the past 3 years. I described it as an evolution...which it truly is because I am changing in response to my environment as it changes...a dynamic interaction.

Then we had a meeting about the Child abuse task force and their progress over the past few months...they are stuck on the definition of perpetrator...they are arguing over the age at which one can be labeled a perpetrator...some want it set at 14, others at 18. They argue that if charged with abuse at 14 the person would have to register as an offender (if sexual) or be forever marked on child abuse clearances...and why ruin their lives over normal human behaviors...you know curious kids???
I finally had to speak up...I shared my history of childhood sexual abuse and I shared my thoughts that if the perpetrators had been detained and offered mental health services at a young age their lives would certainly be different...I shared that they lived with addiction, poor relationships, and suicide attempts...their lives aren't ruined by holding them responsible...they are ruined because they understand at a very deep level that what they did was wrong and then have to bury that reality in drugs, etc...They would be better off if they were given concentrated mental health services and then potentially have their names removed from those lists at 21 if they have made sufficient progress.
I don't think that people see that violence against another is not 'normal human behavior' it is a sign that the person has been deeply hurt them self and needs assistance. I have compassion for perpetrators but that compassion demands meaningful help for them...not a slap on the wrist and a clean slate. I also pointed out the obvious...that the victims has been given a life sentence from which to recover as best they can.

I sent you a link on email...it is a very moving and says so much about the damage of interpersonal violence.
There are so many people saying the same thing...violence is wrong...but violence persists.
Who is benefiting from all of this violence?
Why is it being perpetuated?
Some one's got to be profiting from it...
I will have to think about that question.

Anyway, I cried today...and instead of stifling it and putting up my defenses I let it flow and felt the pain. It was a good experience.

I love you...
Maggie