I don't know if my youngest is content to work in the winery. I do know she is comfortable there. And she is afraid to push herself, afraid of not being good enough - takes after her mama! I do know that pushing her won't get her or the rest of us anywhere. And so I stopped to consider - what if this is what she does. Is it so bad? I think I asked the questions for myself. She has always said she wants more, but if she doesn't go for it, then this is what it is - her life. Is is acceptable? Is it good enough? If I answer yes, then maybe I will relax and let her do whatever she wants. She can go to school in her 30s or 40s, if that's how long it takes her to get there.
(and by writing that, perhaps I have still not let go...maybe I am still judging, and not loving unconditionally)
I think this is more about me, than it is about her.
We are all one. I have been feeling something new when I go outside. I feel my feet on the Earth, and realize I am a living being, standing on a living being, being part of a living being. The problem is that our society has divided us. I am just a girl, not as valuable as a boy. If I see us all as moving forward, we all seem to move forward at the same pace. Life is better, but I am still just a girl. I think we need to see the divine of being female. We aren't going to get it through this culture. Without disempowering or disparaging men, we need to step aside and stand in our power as women - all women, all beautiful, different than men - a different beauty, a different power, a complementary power.
Something the Italian medical professional told me is that when a man is accused of rape, which happens rarely because a women's word is not valued by the police, the women in his family will stand with him and attest that he would never do such a thing. Women need to stand together, face men and reflect how the men really behave. We do need to stand together as one beautiful unit, to allow men to see who they are.
I think we can see our family for exactly who we all are, and love them and still stand aside. We can be with them, part of the family, without joining the crazy that says we are all just fine. We can have our little bonfire on the edge of the swamp and visit with everyone while keeping our feet clean, and out of the muck. We can listen without buying into the blindness. It's easy when we only see each other for a day every few years.
I just went to the Omega website and ordered their catalog. Of course, I would love to see Brene Brown in person! When do we have to decide by? We have a tentative agreement to go to Quebec at the beginning of the month. You may be on Clare-overload by the end of the month.
The little meditation I have been doing is to go outside and feel my feet on the Earth. I acknowledge that I am alive and part of a living system. I flex my knees and remind myself that I can move. I feel the red chakra and feel that I am here, all parts of me are here. I feel the orange chakra and feel I am part of a community, related to others, involved with others. Then I move to the yellow chakra and feel the power of making choices, I can reach for what I want. I move to the green chakra and know, I am worthy. This is still a challenge, but I am working on it. I move to the blue, and realize I have something to say. I move to my third eye and know that I understand. I move to my crown and remember I am of the stars. All of the beautiful, luminous ingredients that made the starts made me! Then I have energy surrounding me, protecting me. It feels nice - then I walk!
I hope you have a loving, happy, homey evening,
Love you little sister!!
Clare
No comments:
Post a Comment