Hey Maggie,
Hope all is well in your home...
I had a different kind of day. A close friend has started attending Al-Anon meetings as a way of understanding some of the choices she has made. So we went to an Al-Anon meeting with her - as support, we had a lunch break, then went to what was called a double winners meeting...those attending identify both as alcoholic and codependent.
And coincidentally, both sessions focused on the same thing. In the first group, we talked about loving detachment. In the second we read about, then discussed turning our lives over to a higher power.
There is such a relief when you stop trying to control everything. You relax, let go and just see what happens.
For me it was reassurance that the work I have been doing in trusting life, in getting into the green chakra and understanding that what needs to happen will happen, no matter how hard I fight....it is all valid. It is important for my growth as a human.
More than anything, though, I got a big dose of Me, too! I am reminded that many families are in pain. So many of us are trying to fix things, to make it work out the way we just know it should.
The friend I accompanied and I then spent a few hours talking. We had time to go deep into our experiences and talk about what they meant, what we learned...I need more of that connection in my life. And we need each other. This friend was feeling bad about the lack of continuity in her life, about short term relationships. I stopped and pointed out that we have been friends for 11 years. I am something long-term and continuous in her life. I think it was good for both of us...
So now big explosions of Aha!! But a nice reassuring dose of Me too!
I love you...missing you...
Clare
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Thursday, February 5, 2015
genocide
Hi Maggie,
Glad to hear you're more rested.
I'm not. My youngest dislocated her kneecap, and has been seeing the doctor, and so I have had the baby more than expected. I am falling behind on my Quakerly responsibilities - my committee work. And my house is a wreck. And I'm tired. But I love my time with this little girl, and so - this will pass...
I have been reading lots of statistics about vets and suicides, and thinking about some of the hidden costs of wars...
Then when I read what the man said during your talk, about women staying in abusive relationships for financial gain. I felt again, and felt more viscerally we are part of an ongoing war against women.
I have read that our slow, steady attack against the Indians, the First People here, is truly the most massive genocide ever. But in reviewing the statistics about murdered and disappeared females through time and around the globe - I wonder if this genocide, the systematic removal of women, is even larger...
And I also go to my thoughts about the caste system, in which we live. If god loves you, you have money. If god does not love you, if you are less worthy, you do not have money. Consider that women make $ .75 for every $1.00 a man in the same position, with the same education makes - god doesn't love us as much. Consider that typically, after divorce, the standard of living for the man goes up.. The standard of living for the woman and children falls.
And so they have to dismiss us as money hungry bitches. They have to use shame to keep us in our place.
If they didn't need breeders, they might be tempted to rid the planet of all of us. Sometimes I wonder if that is where infertility research is heading.
Yeah, I'm tired and on a roll!
I loveyou,,,hope you sleep well...
Clare
Glad to hear you're more rested.
I'm not. My youngest dislocated her kneecap, and has been seeing the doctor, and so I have had the baby more than expected. I am falling behind on my Quakerly responsibilities - my committee work. And my house is a wreck. And I'm tired. But I love my time with this little girl, and so - this will pass...
I have been reading lots of statistics about vets and suicides, and thinking about some of the hidden costs of wars...
Then when I read what the man said during your talk, about women staying in abusive relationships for financial gain. I felt again, and felt more viscerally we are part of an ongoing war against women.
I have read that our slow, steady attack against the Indians, the First People here, is truly the most massive genocide ever. But in reviewing the statistics about murdered and disappeared females through time and around the globe - I wonder if this genocide, the systematic removal of women, is even larger...
And I also go to my thoughts about the caste system, in which we live. If god loves you, you have money. If god does not love you, if you are less worthy, you do not have money. Consider that women make $ .75 for every $1.00 a man in the same position, with the same education makes - god doesn't love us as much. Consider that typically, after divorce, the standard of living for the man goes up.. The standard of living for the woman and children falls.
And so they have to dismiss us as money hungry bitches. They have to use shame to keep us in our place.
If they didn't need breeders, they might be tempted to rid the planet of all of us. Sometimes I wonder if that is where infertility research is heading.
Yeah, I'm tired and on a roll!
I loveyou,,,hope you sleep well...
Clare
Sleep
Clare,
I've had a decent night's sleep so maybe my brain will be more fluid this morning.
I picked my older son up last evening, on my way home. We had an opportunity to talk about this past weekend. Mostly me sharing my imagined scenarios of him being hurt…
I explained that this is what my brain does…
It creates catastrophes from almost nothing.
I explained that this is a common issue with people who've been hurt as children…
they imagine the worst case scenario and then prepare for that.
We've talked about this before.
This weekend, when he disappeared…
went to friends and wouldn't respond to calls or texts…
I explained that I just wanted to hear his voice…
to know he was all right…
safe…
to ease my mind.
I think he understands.
I wish I could control my imagination…
but if I did it would not be creative in it's ramblings and constructs.
My dog had a bad seizure last night. I was up with her for a while. I hate that she has these, but the only way they'll stop is to 'gork' her with meds…
or after she dies…
neither is a good choice…
so I'll sit with her during them and clean her up afterwards.
More snow is on the way this weekend.
I am enjoying the beauty…
I enjoy the peace that comes with snow…
activities shut down…
things get quieter…
life takes a breath.
I hope that you are getting some peaceful rest.
Blessings beautiful sister,
Maggie
I've had a decent night's sleep so maybe my brain will be more fluid this morning.
I picked my older son up last evening, on my way home. We had an opportunity to talk about this past weekend. Mostly me sharing my imagined scenarios of him being hurt…
I explained that this is what my brain does…
It creates catastrophes from almost nothing.
I explained that this is a common issue with people who've been hurt as children…
they imagine the worst case scenario and then prepare for that.
We've talked about this before.
This weekend, when he disappeared…
went to friends and wouldn't respond to calls or texts…
I explained that I just wanted to hear his voice…
to know he was all right…
safe…
to ease my mind.
I think he understands.
I wish I could control my imagination…
but if I did it would not be creative in it's ramblings and constructs.
My dog had a bad seizure last night. I was up with her for a while. I hate that she has these, but the only way they'll stop is to 'gork' her with meds…
or after she dies…
neither is a good choice…
so I'll sit with her during them and clean her up afterwards.
More snow is on the way this weekend.
I am enjoying the beauty…
I enjoy the peace that comes with snow…
activities shut down…
things get quieter…
life takes a breath.
I hope that you are getting some peaceful rest.
Blessings beautiful sister,
Maggie
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
eventually
Clare,
I was on stage last evening…
reading the Vagina Monologues…
it was fun…
it is heartbreaking that it is still necessary.
It is about reclaiming all of ourselves…
private parts and all.
I was so proud to be a part of it.
During the talk back following the readings I spoke of violation, exploitation, disrespect, and societal garbage- like legislators questioning "legitimate rape"…
my daughter's friends said later, "We felt you when you started to speak."
That made me feel great.
Today I gave 2 talks…
the first on climate change and social injustices involved
and the second was on domestic violence.
I once again had the opportunity to speak about violations, exploitation, disrespect, and societal garbage- like women are greedy, they stay to get a big divorce settlement. One of the men in attendance actually said that. I had to carefully compose my answer to that statement. It took a lot of self-control to tell him he was full of stereotypical hatred…
It was actually a very good day.
I love simplicity too…
but it is a challenge for me. I don't think my life is simple…
that testimony challenges me to change…
calls for big choices…
I will get to it…
eventually.
I am exhausted. I worked 10 hours and drove for 2…I need a hot bath and bed.
I just wanted to check in…
read your wisdom and insights…
Thanks for sharing them with me.
Love and Light my beautiful sister,
Maggie
I was on stage last evening…
reading the Vagina Monologues…
it was fun…
it is heartbreaking that it is still necessary.
It is about reclaiming all of ourselves…
private parts and all.
I was so proud to be a part of it.
During the talk back following the readings I spoke of violation, exploitation, disrespect, and societal garbage- like legislators questioning "legitimate rape"…
my daughter's friends said later, "We felt you when you started to speak."
That made me feel great.
Today I gave 2 talks…
the first on climate change and social injustices involved
and the second was on domestic violence.
I once again had the opportunity to speak about violations, exploitation, disrespect, and societal garbage- like women are greedy, they stay to get a big divorce settlement. One of the men in attendance actually said that. I had to carefully compose my answer to that statement. It took a lot of self-control to tell him he was full of stereotypical hatred…
It was actually a very good day.
I love simplicity too…
but it is a challenge for me. I don't think my life is simple…
that testimony challenges me to change…
calls for big choices…
I will get to it…
eventually.
I am exhausted. I worked 10 hours and drove for 2…I need a hot bath and bed.
I just wanted to check in…
read your wisdom and insights…
Thanks for sharing them with me.
Love and Light my beautiful sister,
Maggie
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
random thoughts
I do believe my sister is on stage tonight. Perhaps her first stage appearance since Oklahoma in high school...I'm not sure. I suppose I'll have to wait until tomorrow for details.
Hey Maggie,
How are you today?
I thought of another blessing of simplicity. If we do not overschedule our lives, we are available for each other. The best communications come when we are just together. Trying to schedule time, to force togetherness - never as successful.
I watched the two TED talks you recommended yesterday.Then because I was there, I watched the talk on Everyday Sexism. It was powerful. I had many such experiences, apparently being nothing more than a set of boobs to many strangers for many years. The croning sag rendered me invisible. That is both a relief and a heartbreak.
A few things have really stayed with me. The first was the video about the power of language. I have often remarked that there is a power in language we don't recognize. I try to be aware of my language. But when the speaker talked about racism being a problem for people of color, and sexism being a problem for women...And then he showed how the passive use of language camouflages the person who really has the problem - my eyes flew open...literally and figuratively. I really appreciated the message.
In one of the talks, the speaker said,"This is not a battle between the sexes." I got lost in thoughts of duality. The lesson of our times seems to be about duality - I've tried to understand this before. We are taught to recognize good and bad, light and dark - to divide everything into opposites. We see ourselves as male and female. But we are all humans. We need each other. We complement each other. This forced duality is really to maintain the power structure. If we are all one, we can't be divided and conquered...
So, last night I was trying to enter the forest, when I fell asleep. I dreamed I was a beech tree. I was standing strong with my arms up and out, in a position of praise. I felt my branches spread, to reach for the heavens. Then I had the mirror image of my roots doing the same, of reaching down and in to the Earth. The trunk was a connection, a flow, between heaven and earth. It was beautiful. Then I noticed my roots, and there was someone hibernating in a womb-like curve of the roots. I joined them, then wondered - What part of myself is hibernating? The answer that came, unbidden and unwelcome was - my sexuality.
It got a little cold, and so I woke and went to put a piece of firewood in the woodstove. I grogged back to bed and notices my bedroom in the shadows and thought, "This room is really square." I guess being round like a tree really impacted me!
Then I was up at 5:00 for work. My office window faces west, and I saw the full moon glowing, lighting up the snow...we got a comforter of new snow. I thought of a blanket of snow, but what we have is thicker and comfier. It is a comforter of snow.
So my day was off to a gorgeous start!
I certainly hope you are having fun...
Love and hugs from Clare
Hey Maggie,
How are you today?
I thought of another blessing of simplicity. If we do not overschedule our lives, we are available for each other. The best communications come when we are just together. Trying to schedule time, to force togetherness - never as successful.
I watched the two TED talks you recommended yesterday.Then because I was there, I watched the talk on Everyday Sexism. It was powerful. I had many such experiences, apparently being nothing more than a set of boobs to many strangers for many years. The croning sag rendered me invisible. That is both a relief and a heartbreak.
A few things have really stayed with me. The first was the video about the power of language. I have often remarked that there is a power in language we don't recognize. I try to be aware of my language. But when the speaker talked about racism being a problem for people of color, and sexism being a problem for women...And then he showed how the passive use of language camouflages the person who really has the problem - my eyes flew open...literally and figuratively. I really appreciated the message.
In one of the talks, the speaker said,"This is not a battle between the sexes." I got lost in thoughts of duality. The lesson of our times seems to be about duality - I've tried to understand this before. We are taught to recognize good and bad, light and dark - to divide everything into opposites. We see ourselves as male and female. But we are all humans. We need each other. We complement each other. This forced duality is really to maintain the power structure. If we are all one, we can't be divided and conquered...
So, last night I was trying to enter the forest, when I fell asleep. I dreamed I was a beech tree. I was standing strong with my arms up and out, in a position of praise. I felt my branches spread, to reach for the heavens. Then I had the mirror image of my roots doing the same, of reaching down and in to the Earth. The trunk was a connection, a flow, between heaven and earth. It was beautiful. Then I noticed my roots, and there was someone hibernating in a womb-like curve of the roots. I joined them, then wondered - What part of myself is hibernating? The answer that came, unbidden and unwelcome was - my sexuality.
It got a little cold, and so I woke and went to put a piece of firewood in the woodstove. I grogged back to bed and notices my bedroom in the shadows and thought, "This room is really square." I guess being round like a tree really impacted me!
Then I was up at 5:00 for work. My office window faces west, and I saw the full moon glowing, lighting up the snow...we got a comforter of new snow. I thought of a blanket of snow, but what we have is thicker and comfier. It is a comforter of snow.
So my day was off to a gorgeous start!
I certainly hope you are having fun...
Love and hugs from Clare
Monday, February 2, 2015
simplicity
Hi Maggie,
We got the snow here. I think we have about 10 inches. But now the wind is blowing and there is snow everywhere. The nice thing about working at home is that this doesn't change anything for me. Well, my youngest is snowed in, and has been repeatedly plowed in, so she can't get out and go to work. So no baby today. That will be so good for the baby. She has been missing Mama so much. They gave her ten days in a row...that was stressful for the babe.
Did you get to see your healer?
I enjoyed reading about your favorite testimony. In thinking about them, it seems they all connect. In some way, they are all one...
But my favorite testimony has always been simplicity. Simplicity is taking only what you need, which respects all else. It respects the Earth and her resources. It respects the other mammals, and critters we share home with. It respects other people.
If we live simply, then we know, we see, we feel the truth...there is enough. There is enough for everyone to have what they need to survive and thrive, to live with dignity and security.
If we live simply, our lives are directed by peaceful community. We are not rushed, harried or bullied.
Gandhi said, and this is my favorite bumper sticker: Live simply, so others may simply live.
For me, living simply means thinking carefully about what we want versus what we need.
And since all wars are, essentially, wars for resources, simplicity is a way to peace. We relax, we have faith, we know there is enough for all. We would not be here if there was not a place for us.
Simplicity is emotionally and psychologically stable, too.
I feel our modern culture forces us forego simplicity in order to survive. I struggle with this...
How would you like to address the testimony that you struggle most with...
Looking forward to your response!
Love and hugs from Clare
We got the snow here. I think we have about 10 inches. But now the wind is blowing and there is snow everywhere. The nice thing about working at home is that this doesn't change anything for me. Well, my youngest is snowed in, and has been repeatedly plowed in, so she can't get out and go to work. So no baby today. That will be so good for the baby. She has been missing Mama so much. They gave her ten days in a row...that was stressful for the babe.
Did you get to see your healer?
I enjoyed reading about your favorite testimony. In thinking about them, it seems they all connect. In some way, they are all one...
But my favorite testimony has always been simplicity. Simplicity is taking only what you need, which respects all else. It respects the Earth and her resources. It respects the other mammals, and critters we share home with. It respects other people.
If we live simply, then we know, we see, we feel the truth...there is enough. There is enough for everyone to have what they need to survive and thrive, to live with dignity and security.
If we live simply, our lives are directed by peaceful community. We are not rushed, harried or bullied.
Gandhi said, and this is my favorite bumper sticker: Live simply, so others may simply live.
For me, living simply means thinking carefully about what we want versus what we need.
And since all wars are, essentially, wars for resources, simplicity is a way to peace. We relax, we have faith, we know there is enough for all. We would not be here if there was not a place for us.
Simplicity is emotionally and psychologically stable, too.
I feel our modern culture forces us forego simplicity in order to survive. I struggle with this...
How would you like to address the testimony that you struggle most with...
Looking forward to your response!
Love and hugs from Clare
Equality
Clare,
What a morning…
we are in a band of freezing rain right now…
on top of about 2 inches of snow…
not the 8 to 12 they've predicted.
My phone is going off consistently with group messages from both of my jobs about canceling or delaying…
it's not a peaceful snow day.
Luckily, my only real commitment today is an appointment with my healer…
I will try to make it but know that I can cancel without any issues.
My favorite SPICES is Equality.
I think that if we truly live in equality the rest will follow.
If we believe that we are on this earth to live interdependently with all of the other humans and species then we will live in peace and trust the abundance of the earth. We will love and trust the intentions of the other beings. We will live and trust ourselves. Equality is recognizing that of God in every being and in all of creation. Equality is respect, honoring the dignity of others.
I don't think that equality means that every being has to have equal shares of everything. Remember mom cutting a gallon of ice cream into 12 squares? Everyone had to have and equal share to avoid fighting. But there was always that one, extra square.
Do you remember when she would go to the commissary and bring back Cracker Jacks as a treat for each of us? But, B#2's allergy wouldn't allow him to eat those- so he got Fiddle Faddle…
jealousy!!!…
why is he special?
Why does he get something different?
I realize that this is my little girl's brain's recollections…but it is a simplified view of our world. Why do the poor people, lazy as they are, get welfare when we have to work to support them? Why are they special? Why do huge corporations get corporate welfare, "tax incentives" when we work hard for them? It's the comparison that gets to us.
The answer to comparison is connection.
If we can see the true need…
we generously share what we have.
Another cog in the wheel is that we have been taught from a place of fear. Belief in scarcity, we don't trust abundance. Hoarding and greed stem from this. If there's not going to be enough for everyone I'd better hide some so that my future will be safer. I love the stories from the Nazi camps where prisoners shared what they had. I believe it was in Viktor Frankl's book that he shared stories about sharing and supporting others in the bleakest of times.
Trust is challenging.
Trust undermines all that we've been taught.
Trust undermines those 10 Commandments…
A trusting God doesn't have to command our presence at worship or devotion solely to him…
those would naturally stem from the love and appreciation of its creations.
"Praise precedes faith"…
not sure who said that, but I remember reading it in a Matthew Fox book.
Trusting men wouldn't have to place protections on their stuff…
including their women…
protections that, if broken, earn you eternal damnation…
or at least a long time in purgatory.
The garbage we were fed as children permeates our thoughts and our behaviors.
Equality helps me to break free of that trap.
Equality helps me to know that the Creator loves me and wants relationship with me.
Equality helps me to trust in the abundance.
And yet, I struggle everyday…
so life goes on.
I am sorry about your friend's death. I hope that you are finding some comfort in the memories of shared times together. I am holding you int he Light.
I look forward to hearing about your favorite testimony.
Love and Light my beautiful sister,
Maggie
I found these and thought you might like to see it…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvSfeCRxe8
Violence against women- it's a men's issue
https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-cl=85114404&x-yt-ts=1422579428&v=H7Gn2a0GnAc
The slut, the spinster and the perfect woman
What a morning…
we are in a band of freezing rain right now…
on top of about 2 inches of snow…
not the 8 to 12 they've predicted.
My phone is going off consistently with group messages from both of my jobs about canceling or delaying…
it's not a peaceful snow day.
Luckily, my only real commitment today is an appointment with my healer…
I will try to make it but know that I can cancel without any issues.
My favorite SPICES is Equality.
I think that if we truly live in equality the rest will follow.
If we believe that we are on this earth to live interdependently with all of the other humans and species then we will live in peace and trust the abundance of the earth. We will love and trust the intentions of the other beings. We will live and trust ourselves. Equality is recognizing that of God in every being and in all of creation. Equality is respect, honoring the dignity of others.
I don't think that equality means that every being has to have equal shares of everything. Remember mom cutting a gallon of ice cream into 12 squares? Everyone had to have and equal share to avoid fighting. But there was always that one, extra square.
Do you remember when she would go to the commissary and bring back Cracker Jacks as a treat for each of us? But, B#2's allergy wouldn't allow him to eat those- so he got Fiddle Faddle…
jealousy!!!…
why is he special?
Why does he get something different?
I realize that this is my little girl's brain's recollections…but it is a simplified view of our world. Why do the poor people, lazy as they are, get welfare when we have to work to support them? Why are they special? Why do huge corporations get corporate welfare, "tax incentives" when we work hard for them? It's the comparison that gets to us.
The answer to comparison is connection.
If we can see the true need…
we generously share what we have.
Another cog in the wheel is that we have been taught from a place of fear. Belief in scarcity, we don't trust abundance. Hoarding and greed stem from this. If there's not going to be enough for everyone I'd better hide some so that my future will be safer. I love the stories from the Nazi camps where prisoners shared what they had. I believe it was in Viktor Frankl's book that he shared stories about sharing and supporting others in the bleakest of times.
Trust is challenging.
Trust undermines all that we've been taught.
Trust undermines those 10 Commandments…
A trusting God doesn't have to command our presence at worship or devotion solely to him…
those would naturally stem from the love and appreciation of its creations.
"Praise precedes faith"…
not sure who said that, but I remember reading it in a Matthew Fox book.
Trusting men wouldn't have to place protections on their stuff…
including their women…
protections that, if broken, earn you eternal damnation…
or at least a long time in purgatory.
The garbage we were fed as children permeates our thoughts and our behaviors.
Equality helps me to break free of that trap.
Equality helps me to know that the Creator loves me and wants relationship with me.
Equality helps me to trust in the abundance.
And yet, I struggle everyday…
so life goes on.
I am sorry about your friend's death. I hope that you are finding some comfort in the memories of shared times together. I am holding you int he Light.
I look forward to hearing about your favorite testimony.
Love and Light my beautiful sister,
Maggie
I found these and thought you might like to see it…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvSfeCRxe8
Violence against women- it's a men's issue
https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-cl=85114404&x-yt-ts=1422579428&v=H7Gn2a0GnAc
The slut, the spinster and the perfect woman
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