Things happen as they should

I am so happy that all went so well at the family get-together. Maybe we are making steps toward being a more functional family.  And it's good that you connected with B#1. I have the strong sensation that he really needs it.  It seems he is adrift, not terribly connected to his wife. But I never see them, rarely speak with them and definitely don't have anything more than a superficial relationship with either of them. So it's just a gut feeling. And we all know I have been wrong.

I also got the impression that you watched and waited for moments of grace, and therefore you were rewarded.  I believe the moments of beauty and generosity are always around us. We get so caught in pain, we don't see anything.  We miss the magic of being human, of being on this remarkably glorious planet.

My oldest told me that she and her dad are planning to visit the out-west kids in February.  I was so happy - they need to have those family connections. There is one point though...in the past, my ex has purchased tickets, then called to tell them when he was coming.  I don't want to interfere, and I don't want to create drama, but that method causes stress.

I don't want to call my oldest son and tattle.  I am considering emailing my ex and gently suggesting he negotiate a date or ask if a visit would be convenient...Trying to be aware and kind and not to create or get drawn into any drama.

S#3 will be here for New Years Eve. She will bring her son back here, and we will have all of the grandchildren for a New Years Eve party.  One of my children asked why I do this to myself.  I know S#3 takes a lot of responsibility for her grandchildren, trying to work during the day while taking care of them.  It is stressful.

Last time we talked, we made a plan - first, one of us will win the lottery, then we take two weeks and go to some kind of a spa in Sedona. We were inspired by some of your photos!!  I think I started it by my commenting - If I won the lottery, I would sleep for a week! And the conversation developed from there...

I would love to go to Bald Head again in March. And I am very excited about having all 5 of us there.  I really need to have a date 2 months in advance, so I can block my schedule.  If I cancel with less than two months notice, I can have the time, but it counts as a no show for me, and counts against things like bonuses and raises.  Also, as the oldest child, I can be trapped in being anally responsible, and really have a hard time not doing everything that is asked of me.

Baby is asleep. Time for me to go there too!

Love and hugs from Clare